Got your attention didn’t I? So you feel better let me say that, with very few exceptions, we all lie to ourselves.
We’re brought up to be honest. Always tell the truth. Say it like it is in a sympathetic and caring way. So why don’t we follow this direction when talking to ourselves?
We are liars, or even bullies, with our self-talk when we should be our most loyal advocates.
How often do you say things like:
“That person is so much smarter than I,” or
“I could never do what she’s doing,” or
“I’m pretending to be something I’m not.”
Maybe you make a mistake and call someone the wrong name or embarrass yourself in some other way. Then you berate yourself long into the future.
“I am so stupid. How could I say that?” or
“Why in the world did I think I could be successful at that?” or
“I knew this would end badly. It’s for anyone else but not me.”
I’m right aren’t I? You are lying to yourself!
This is so common that there are even terms for this behavior. We each have an inner critic and suffer from the imposter syndrome.
The key is to not let it get in your way. You need to shut down this thinking. Stand up to your inner critic and say, “I’ll have no more of this!”
Here are 3 Tips to overcome the defeatist thinking that prevents you from achieving all that you can be.
Understanding that everyone experiences self-doubt from time to time can bring peace and acceptance.
Even well known speakers and vocal artists tell us that they still get nervous before going on stage. Why should they? They’ve performed and proven themselves over and over again?
It’s because it’s human nature. We can’t avoid it.
Expect the Uncomfortable
Reposition your thinking to accept the fact that there will be times when you are uncomfortable. Embrace this feeling knowing that you are stretching yourself and that you are growing with your experiences.
By taking action you are moving your plan forward. It is what others who you aspire to be like have done. It’s the ability to move past the uncomfortable.
They aren’t able to shut it off. They just shut it down.
Instead of continually looking at and judging yourself, try looking at and positively affecting those around you. What help are you providing through a volunteer event? What are you teaching people when you speak to a group? How does your product enrich the lives of those who purchase it?
It’s a miracle how, when you focus and serve others, your inner critic is forgotten. There is no time to think about yourself because you are busy focusing on them.
Stand up to the liar in you. Be impolite and talk back to it with the truth. That you are deserving. That you do have the skills and passion to be and do what you are striving for.
You have a lot to share with the world and how dare that lying inner critic stand in your way!