245 – Find Out How Tiny Habits Bring Happiness into Your Life with Jennifer Dunham of Time, Money & Happiness Matters

Jennifer Dunham of Time, Money & Happiness MattersJennifer Dunham is the founder of Profitable Lifestyle Live and owner of Time, Money & Happiness Matters. As a Profitable Lifestyle designer, Jennifer helps driven professionals love their career and fully love their lives.

With over 20 years experience running her information technology firm, designing systems and operating procedures, it’s easy to see why Jennifer’s approach is rooted in her IT background.

She’s a believer in automation, habits, repeatable processes and streamlining to reduce overwhelm so you can focus on what matters most.

She teaches her clients how to find more time, so they can make more money and increase their happiness.

Business Building Insights

  • If you’re not in action, if you’re not doing, if you’re not trying then you are not learning.
  • Celebrate your results. Cheerfully acknowledging failure shows you stepped out of your comfort and courage zone. Celebrating your wins creates a positive connection to your brain. Every failure and success is a win and lots of little wins grow into a big win.
  • Little habits that you incorporate into your daily routine can have a big impact on your business.
  • Inject happiness as an ingredient to your business success. You can’t count the happiness impact on a spreadsheet but it’s the exponential component that brings powerful results..
  • Find your grounding point that connects to one of your senses.
  • Use visualization to plan out how your day is going to go.
  • Switch out the word selling if it doesn’t resonate with you. Instead, use the word helping or serving.
  • Practice soft selling where you’re sharing about your experience and story.
  • Create a call to action on every single opportunity.
  • In order to create a new habit, the best way to solidify it is to attach it to something you’re already doing. That will be a reminder and spark action of the new activity.

Resources Mentioned

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Thank so much! Sue

Transcript
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Gift biz on wrapped episode 245 It's amazing how just even

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one minute a day can make a huge difference in your

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entire day.

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Attention gifters,

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bakers, crafters and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.

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Whether you have an established business or looking to start one

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now you are in the right place.

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This is gift to biz on,

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unwrapped, helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.

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Join us for an episode packed full of invaluable guidance,

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resources and the support you need to grow your gift biz.

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Here is your host gift biz gal Sue moon Heights.

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Hi there,

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it's Sue And I'm so glad that you're here with me

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today as I'm recording this.

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We're just a couple of weeks away from the holidays.

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Christmas and Hanukkah are at the same time this year as

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you may know,

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which can get pretty hectic around my house.

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We're an interfaith family so we celebrate both and in terms

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of decorations,

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I decorate different rooms in the house to different holidays.

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So for example,

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our dining room and our living room are Hanukkah and truth

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be told,

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everything else in the house is Christmas.

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My house looks like one of those holiday shops with a

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festive spirit everywhere.

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It's really fun for me to be surrounded by all of

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that color and even though it's a lot of work,

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putting everything up,

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it really makes me happy being happy.

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That's the topic of our show today.

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I'm excited for you to hear this because my guests takes

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a different approach then you may have ever heard before.

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When it comes to happiness,

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I think you can understand how being able to attract happiness

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yourself can make you feel better,

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but she also explains how it can make your business better.

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Hmm. Affecting your business results by being happier.

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That's something I think you'd say is worth considering.

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What I really like is how doable this is for every

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single one of us.

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It doesn't take a lot of time or money and it's

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something that we can initiate and control.

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I find this a perfect topic for the holiday season right

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now and as we enter into a fresh brand new year.

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So regardless of when you're listening to the show,

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it's going to enlighten you and show you how you can

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be happier.

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So excited to get into this conversation.

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You guys.

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Today we have Jennifer Dunham as our special guest.

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Jennifer's the founder of profitable lifestyle,

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live and owner of time,

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money, and happiness matters as a profitable lifestyle designer.

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Jennifer helps driven professionals love their career and fully love their

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lives with over 20 years experience running her information technology firm.

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So designing systems and operating procedures,

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it's easy to see why Jennifer's approach is rooted in her

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it background.

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She's a believer in automation,

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habits, repeatable processes,

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and streamlining to reduce overwhelm so you can focus on what

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matters most.

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She teaches her clients how to find more time so they

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can make more money and increase their happiness.

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Doesn't that sound awesome?

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Jennifer, welcome to the podcast.

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Thank you so much,

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Sue. I'm so excited to be here.

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Me too.

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But before we dive into all this goodness and happiness production,

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because that's where we're going with this today.

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I'd love for you to share with us a little bit

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more about you through a motivational candle.

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So if you were to pull up a quote and show

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us visually a color or what that candle is all about,

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what would your motivational candle look like?

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Well, the color definitely was an easy thing for me to

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think about because I love turquoise blue.

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So the candle itself would be a beautiful turquoise blue.

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And the quote itself,

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I'm going to keep it short and sweet and it's just

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something that I teach all of my clients.

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It's something that's,

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it's a mantra that I think everybody should remember all the

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time, which is failure is awesome.

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It's short and sweet.

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Oh, now not many people would think that.

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So expand on that a little bit.

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Sure. Well,

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you know,

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one of the things I always like to share is that

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if you're not inaction,

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if you're not doing,

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if you're not trying,

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you're not learning.

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So I know that we tend to focus on what we

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didn't get done or what didn't go well.

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But when you can start to embrace this idea of celebrating

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the fact that you failed,

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you're allowing yourself to more easily step out of your comfort

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zone. You're allowing yourself to go into what I call your

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courage zone.

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When you're not afraid that you're going to fail,

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you're embracing the fact that you could fail.

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And so instead of just,

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you know,

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we talk about celebrating wins and I think maybe women more

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than men,

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I don't know that might be a stereotype,

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but we tend to focus on what we didn't get done

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as opposed to what we did get done.

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So it's really important to celebrate your wins that creates a

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positive connection in your brain with the actions and the motions

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that you're taking when you celebrate your wins,

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but you also have to celebrate your failures.

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It's easier to get off the ground faster and faster each

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time when you start to celebrate your failures instead of being

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deflated and letting like an entire day,

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like sometimes failures really get you down and you start to

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struggle with getting back up.

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But when you start celebrating your failures,

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you can get up faster.

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Each time.

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Brings to mind to me that if we could just reframe

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the way we think this,

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we always think about the winds being some result or goal

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that we were obtaining versus the wind also being just that

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we took the action.

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Absolutely. We put ourselves out there and did it.

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That's a win unto itself regardless of what the result is.

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Absolutely. Every little win is a big win.

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And I recently heard a phrase and I've heard it before,

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but I recently heard it again and I'll share it with

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your listeners cause it's just an amazing,

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here's another motivational quote,

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but small hinges swing big doors and the idea that a

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very small win can really make a huge impact to your

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business and that small win may not even be a business

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win. It could be a personal one that you allowed yourself,

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five minutes of personal self care that you've put into your

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morning routine that you didn't use to do can make a

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huge impact to your business daily routines.

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Oh, that's interesting.

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I want to dive into more of that as we go.

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For sure.

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That's making me think a little bit.

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Absolutely. I'd like to go back a little bit.

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So you had an information technology firm for 20 years.

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I still run that firm.

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Okay, so you still have that going.

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How did the happiness matters come about?

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How did you identify and integrate that in?

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Well, what happened was my husband and I moved out into

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what I call the country.

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We live on a five acre chicken farm now.

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Oh my gosh.

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Well that's why in the pre chat you said you hadn't

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even been out yet to<inaudible>,

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So we moved from what my husband called suburbia hell and

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we moved out into the country close enough to still be

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within commute distance with our it clients.

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My husband also has an it consulting firm.

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And so we moved out into the country and then all

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of a sudden at the time I was also,

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I had a photography studio,

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a boutique photography studio for 15 years.

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And all of a sudden my businesses just started to really

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take off.

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And my relationship was better.

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I was a much happier person and friends and family and

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colleagues. We're starting to ask Jennifer like the joke was what

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are you growing on your farm?

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And that's,

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I tell them it wasn't that,

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but the key point that like that computer science,

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geeky girl and me wanting to reverse engineer cause I was

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really curious cause it was so many people making these comments.

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What was it that was so different?

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And so I ended up coming up with this concept of

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my profitable lifestyle formula.

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And it's a mathematical formula cause that's just kind of how

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my brain works.

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But the big thing was is that I was injecting happiness

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as an ingredient going into my business success.

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Most people think of happiness as an end result.

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Like I will be happy after I lose 10 pounds.

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I will be happy after I get in the right relationship,

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I'll be happy after I get that promotion or that big

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break. Well,

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and the heartbreaking thing is when then someone obtains whatever that

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is and then they get there.

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Then they realize they're not happy yet so they keep reaching

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and reaching and reaching for more.

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Absolutely. In fact,

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I did an interview series back in,

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I think it was 2017 and I interviewed some really top

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high level entrepreneurs and millionaires about their success habits and one

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of them,

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one conversation actually there was two conversations that really stood out

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to me and one of them was where she shared that

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she broke the seven figure Mark and she didn't even know

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it. Like in other words,

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she kept going and she never stopped to celebrate the fact

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that she broke the seven figure Mark and it really resonated

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with me because again,

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the idea that you have to stop and celebrate and that

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and of course some of these things were things that I

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was teaching my clients and I always like,

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I was kind of devastated because I was like,

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wow. Since then,

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of course you realize that she was moving a too much

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of a steam that she couldn't maintain.

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So she's taken a step back and she's doing more the

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things that she loves now.

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But at the time she was just full steam ahead.

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And when you start thinking about with this profitable lifestyle formula

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that I have,

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I call it your profit potential.

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And this formula happiness impact are the exponential components.

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And they are very intangible.

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You can't count happiness and impact.

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However, they're such an important ingredient into the success of your

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business that they're the exponential component.

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So in other words,

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it's amazing how just even one minute a day can make

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a huge difference in your entire day.

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So are the happiness components different by person?

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Yeah, of course they are.

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So I tell people that they can actually start to put

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some happiness on autopilot.

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I'm a tiny habits certified coach.

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So a lot of what I teach,

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even business related type stuff I teach is all through the

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power of tiny habits.

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And you can start to be happier in five minutes a

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day or less.

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In fact,

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it's how you train your brain.

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I know I'm going to date myself,

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but I know that we've all done this where we've driven

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away from our house and you can't remember.

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You get not more than 30 seconds away and you're like,

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Oh, did I put the garage door down?

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I can't remember.

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I so do that.

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And then you drove back.

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Inevitably of course there might be a flute case in there,

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but inevitably you've always put it down and it's just because

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it's part of your routine,

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it's part of your habit and the more things that you

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can put in your daily routines that are habits,

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you do them in autopilot mode,

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you do them without thinking.

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Again, that's how I train my clients for cashflow and client

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flow is starting to put habits into their business routines.

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But with happiness you can do the same thing and each

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person's version of happiness is different.

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And so kind of going back to the story of moving

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out to the farm here,

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one of the things that I realized I needed,

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which I never realized before was being in nature.

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And I've discovered that being in nature is a grounding point

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for me.

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And everybody has a different grounding point where you really just

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feel connected with yourself.

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And it doesn't have to be any lengthy exercise or activity.

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I mean it could just be like me going outside and

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spending 30 seconds of just really like smelling some fresh air,

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hearing the birds chirping,

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looking at the leaves blowing or the breeze blowing and hearing

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the sounds of the chickens and the birds and being in

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nature. And what I recommend is that everyone find their grounding

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point. What is that for you And how do you do

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that? Just observe what makes you feel good throughout your days.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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So if there is,

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when you think about it,

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when you're having a crappy day,

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what is it that you can start to instill that brings

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you back?

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And maybe it doesn't fix all your problems,

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but it just makes you feel better.

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I usually say that you're grounding point.

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If you can in some way connected to all five of

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your senses,

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you know,

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sight and smell and sound and hearing and touch and taste.

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Even, for example,

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maybe it's really giving yourself the gift of savoring your first

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sip of coffee every morning,

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feeling the warmth of the cup in your hands.

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You like smelling it and listening to it as it's brewing.

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And then really just giving yourself the gift of 15 seconds

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of the first swallow of coffee.

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It's part of your regular routine,

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but consciously acknowledging and recognizing the activity and that it's something

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that you like.

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Absolutely. And it's intentional.

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I talked to people about having a recovery plan for when

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you have a bad day.

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So if you were to start to think about the things

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that you would do when you're having a bad day,

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it's likely that one of those things could be part of

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your grounding point.

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Like maybe there's a song that you listen to.

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Maybe music is really part of your grounding point,

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is it smell?

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So like maybe lighting a candle,

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maybe it brings you back to a certain memory and it

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lifts you out of a bad mood.

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Usually one of your senses as a little more in tune

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with your grounding point.

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So if you can again figure out what it is that

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you would do as part of your recovery plan from having

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a bad day,

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most likely one of those things could become your daily grounding

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point. That makes sense.

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You know,

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it brings to mind to me about a month ago or

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so, Laurie,

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my assistant came in and I was busy on deadline for

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something cause I'm one of those crazy,

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really, really driven like I've got to get this done,

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I've got to get this done.

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Like always like that.

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And she came in and there was something we needed to

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talk about.

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I forget what it was right now and she's like,

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Sue, let's just go walk around and talk about this.

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It's such a beautiful day and the office is in a

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really nice area.

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Like the Lake is right near us,

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et cetera.

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And she's like,

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let's just go walk around for 10 minutes and talk about

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this so we'll be able to get this accomplished and you

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can get out of the office,

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whatever. And I was so resistant to doing that because I

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felt like it was going to take longer than if we

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just did it in the office or something like that.

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But going down and taking that quick walk refreshed me and

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energized me.

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I was to myself,

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I need to do that type of thing more often because

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I just felt so much better and probably was more productive

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when I got back after that.

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I don't really know one way or another.

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You probably were.

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Is that an example?

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Oh absolutely.

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In fact,

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you probably were more productive when you got back.

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Here's the thing is you can use this time.

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Getting away from the computer is great and using the time

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outside for you just to be strategizing and you're giving your

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brain a little bit different space in which to think.

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So getting outside and whether it be with your assistant or

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not with her,

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but going outside,

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having a conversation.

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My assistant and I still go down and run my it

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firms. So I'm driving down near the Capitol here in California

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several days a week for meetings.

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And so when we're driving,

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I usually will have a call with my assistant and you

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can multitask and I want to use that word very cautiously

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right now,

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but you can multitask when you're using two different parts of

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the brain.

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Otherwise you really can't multitask.

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We'll come back to that.

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But so for multitasking,

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if you're out and you're walking and you're enjoying nature,

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you're hearing the birds,

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you're feeling the air,

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but then you're also,

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the other part of your brain that you can use is

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you can still be strategizing,

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you can still be talking through,

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you can still be planning and you're unconsciously allowing your grounding

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point. If it were your grounding point,

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it could become your grounding point.

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You're allowing that to really bring in more happiness and productivity

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to your day.

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Yeah, I,

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you know,

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I also think just another extension,

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I'm bringing this up only to help our listeners try and

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think of how this might work for them as well.

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But I only live just about a 25 minute walk to

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the office and so when it's nice I sometimes will walk

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and I find that I get new ideas while I'm walking.

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That is if I turn off a podcast cause I'm always

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doing that,

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but if I just leave myself time,

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somehow that change in environment opens up to new ideas.

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It's also kind of like how people are.

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If they go on vacation,

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you know,

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and try and get away from their business and then they

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come back and they have these great ideas.

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Absolutely. It's a different scenery.

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You're actually functioning some ways,

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kind of a different part of your brain just because you're

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so used to the other routine.

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I get great ideas when I go out walking because you're

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raising your heart rate and you're consciously having to make sure

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you're not stumbling over things.

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You're physically having to move your body and it's amazing how

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when you start to get to the point where you've almost

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allowed yourself to be a clean slate and it's the same

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thing like you were just mentioning with vacation,

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but you're at this point.

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Then all of a sudden ideas are just face spring from

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the well,

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Yeah, because they're being triggered by things that you maybe aren't

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normally around or your body's edit different pace acting at a

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different pace physically or certainly not in front of the computer.

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And that brings up those ideas,

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I'm guessing.

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Yup, absolutely.

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Yeah. Okay.

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Let's get back to this a little bit more.

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In terms of the five minute a day or less,

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is this all based on finding multiple grounding points or are

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there other things that you can do?

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There are other things you can do.

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So the grounding point is just something that I suggest that

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people do as one of their habits.

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And again,

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a tiny habit is based off of 60 seconds or less.

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So when I'm suggesting that people can add new habits to

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their personal routines or their business routine,

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I'm not suggesting that there are big habits because that's one

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reason why people don't succeed at like new year's resolutions.

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So another example of a tiny habit that you can do

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that will automate over time.

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When you start to become the you solidify and you do

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it on autopilot mode,

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that adds happiness is for example,

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I'm going to give you some of my example.

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I call these brain bliss activation because this is where you're

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connecting the neuropathways in your brain with these elements of happiness.

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You're doing it on autopilot.

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So for me,

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when I get in the car and I turn the ignition

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on, I always make sure that I have no sound like

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no radio,

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no sound,

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and I give myself that gift for at least like 60

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seconds of my drive.

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My husband's like the exact opposite.

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You turn the car on and the radio's already blurry,

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and so for me,

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60 seconds of an often I will drive in silence like

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the entire drive,

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which I know drives my husband crazy,

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but being able to give yourself the gift of silence is

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another example that I use for myself.

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Here's a different example of a happiness habit.

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Whenever I get into an elevator,

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because we live in this world where we're always looking down

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at our phones,

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is I intentionally,

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my habit is to not look at my phone when I'm

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in an elevator because if there's other people in the elevator

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with me,

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I make sure to to just say hi,

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how are you today?

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And I know it's such a small thing,

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but here's the thing is it's not really a happiness habit

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that's directed for like me specifically.

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But by having that little bit of human to human conversation,

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it is allowing the opportunity for you to brighten someone else's

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day. So I have one maybe let's see if this is

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one. Sure.

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So on my way to the office when I'm driving now,

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not when I'm walking,

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which to be honest is the majority of the time we

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have several coffee shops.

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I have a coffee shop right below me.

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There's Starbucks,

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there's Dunkin donuts,

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there's a number of them.

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But I will go to a coffee shop and I intentionally

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you, everyone in the morning is so busy.

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They're so like thinking of getting into their day,

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getting on with their day or whatever.

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But I intentionally smile at the barrista or the person who's

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handing me the coffee through the drive through or whatever.

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You know,

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they're usually just giving the coffee,

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moving on to the next order.

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I always smile at them and say thank you.

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And I always see like a little,

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well people who are regular know that I do that,

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you know?

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And I do it intentionally cause I want it to be

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happy. We're starting our day but I feel like it makes

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me feel good cause I know the act of smiling does

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something to your brain but I've also then done something nice

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for someone else even if it's like a two second,

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you know,

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you see their lips go up in a tiny smile or

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something and they move on.

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Would that be one?

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Absolutely. Yeah.

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That's exactly an example of a tiny habit that helps elevate

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like your automated happiness.

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Because I feel like I've done something for myself and for

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someone else in like two seconds with a routine I already

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have. Cause I guess getting my coffee as a happiness habit

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too. Absolutely.

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That takes a little more than two minutes to get there.

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That's a really good example.

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Soon. Okay,

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so then as guidance for people who are listening,

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you know,

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finding the grounding point,

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maybe have a couple of those.

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You're thinking like if it's nature,

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I'm also a nature person,

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so nature for us it might be something else for someone

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else it might be just hanging out with your dog for

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two minutes in the morning or some pet,

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something like that.

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Absolutely. Picking,

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picking flowers and putting them on your kitchen table for when

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you get home,

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things like that.

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Absolutely, and it might even be like if you picked flowers

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and you put them on the kitchen table as I'm making

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sure to go over and just appreciate them when you walk

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in the door.

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Oh yes.

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Are you loving this?

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As much as I am such small,

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Tiny things that we can incorporate into our day that can

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up the happiness level.

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We're going to talk about even more of this after a

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for more information And then the brain bliss activations.

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Any other examples of that just to continue getting our listeners

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brains thinking here?

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Sure, so you know,

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people often talk about you can have a gratitude practice and

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you can do that in the evening.

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As an example,

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when you turn your bedroom light off into your head hits

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the pillow is to think of you know at least one

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thing that you were thankful for that day.

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And I caution the word thankful because sometimes that can be

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a big word if you're having a bad day,

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but one thing that you appreciate is a little bit easier

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sometimes to do when you're having a one of those days.

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But that's another example because it's a very small habit that

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you can get into.

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You can also incorporate,

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I'm going to give an example of a tiny habit related

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to even business activities like envisioning how you want your day

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to go.

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I tell my clients to start doing a daily,

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like not necessarily a mantra,

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but like really think about how you want your day to

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go or how you want your business activities to go that

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day. Yeah.

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And to think about that while they're brushing their teeth in

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the morning.

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Oh there you go.

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Cause you might as well be doing something right.

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And you probably shouldn't be looking at your phone at that

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point. Absolutely not.

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So there's a time when you could use some brain power

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and I really do,

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I believe in the law of attraction and visualization like that.

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And that just makes so much sense to me to do

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that, to visualize how your day is going to go and

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then you're setting yourself up for some portion of success.

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I mean,

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you might visualize that you're going to win the lottery and

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that may or may not happen,

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Right? Yeah.

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Make it somewhat real as thick.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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But putting some intention behind it.

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Would you add journaling then into this category as well?

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So a journaling exercise.

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Again, I think that could be a little bit harder unless,

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and here's an example of how you can take a journaling,

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the desire to do more journaling and turn it into a

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habit that can stick.

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Because oftentimes when you start wanting to journal again,

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it's kind of like the new year's resolution to want to

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exercise more.

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It often will bite you in the butt and you feeling

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like you're a failure because you don't do it every day

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is instead of committing to journaling or having that be your

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habit. Similar to the idea of,

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I've just a thought of gratitude as you could write down

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one sentence,

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you know,

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make the commitment that your tiny habit for journaling is writing

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down one sentence every day.

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Oh, I really liked that.

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I'm not a journaler,

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but I could write down a sentence a day.

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Right? And when you make it tiny like that,

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it feels doable.

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And that's the whole point of a tiny habit is it

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doesn't take a lot of motivation.

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So, but here's the key thing is that once you,

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and this works for exercise and it's amazing how it works

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for business activities,

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when you make the commitment for one sentence,

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if you get on a roll or if you write one

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sentence and then that leads to a second sentence and then

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pretty soon before you know you've got a page that's like

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the cherry on top to the big ice cream sundae,

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right? Because the whole point was that yours is going to

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write down one sentence.

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I mean,

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heck, you could even make it tinier if you wanted and

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just write down one word.

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And so your tiny habit,

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the important thing with a habit,

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which we touched upon at the very beginning,

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is that you need to celebrate that you did it Right.

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You have to,

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and that's part of that brain bliss activation formula is that

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you have to not only make it a tiny habit so

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that it's doable and then it doesn't take a lot of

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motivation, but then you have to celebrate that you did it.

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You have to recognize it and then celebrate Pat yourself on

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the back.

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Feel the benefits of it.

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To your point about silence in the car,

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you know how like cleansing something like that is the thing

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that I love about these Jennifer,

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is none of this costs money.

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None of it.

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Absolutely none of it.

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And it barely even costs time.

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Absolutely. Yeah.

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Yeah. So then swinging that back then,

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a lot of what you talk about is making more money

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in less time.

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Does this happiness quotient swing into that somehow?

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It does.

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In the sense of,

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it's twofold.

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One, I truly think that having your happiness automated in some

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capacity with these Brinkley's activation kind of moments sprinkled throughout your

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day will allow you to be more productive in your business.

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It is actually,

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I might misquote the number.

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I think it's 31% 31% of people are more productive if

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they're happier.

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So the happiness quotient affects our productivity because we're just in

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a better place mentally.

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Absolutely. Yep.

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And so,

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for example,

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happier people close more sales 37% of the time.

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And that makes sense because of course,

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if you're happier than people are attracted to you in a

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different way.

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Right. I think so.

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Well people want more of that.

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They want to be around people who are happy because they

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want it to rub off because let's face it,

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when you're around someone who's smiling and jovial,

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kind of like my smile at coffee in the morning versus

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me frowning,

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people would want to be closer to me.

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I'm thinking or be with me more likely than if I'm

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not then if I'm a grouch.

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Absolutely. So the happiness part definitely plays into it,

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but then the other part that plays in to like the

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making more money and less time is the tiny habit part

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of it.

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Being able to extrapolate this same notion of creating a tiny

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habit but related around business activities that directly bring in revenue.

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Got it.

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So kind of like how I say step-by-step,

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don't look at the whole big picture at the end,

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but break it into the little steps.

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Absolutely. You're relating that also to tiny habits cause there's so

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much more digestible and doable.

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Absolutely. And really it's a matter of figuring out,

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it's funny when you're really good at something that you don't

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realize that it's a struggle for other people.

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So for example,

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with running my it firm and running these multimillion dollar projects

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that I've been on for years,

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it's really easy for me to look at a project plan

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and it's really easy for me to prioritize what should be

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done first and next and like an order prioritization I have

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found is not something that a lot of people are good

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at, which I just,

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again, when it's natural to me it's like,

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well we think,

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Oh well everybody can prioritize and prioritization doesn't always come easy

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to people,

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so they don't always see what is the task that they

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should be doing.

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That is the more direct revenue generating tasks.

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Yeah, because it's so easy to go recount inventory or gravitate

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to something that's more comfortable.

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That's very,

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very far from the sale.

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Absolutely. And it's because a lot of us and myself included

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and I've gotten better with it over time,

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we don't like selling.

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Oh yeah.

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That is almost a hundred percent of the people who are

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listening right now.

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And one of the things,

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I've been on a soap box topic lately,

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you know I do a Facebook live training,

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a free training every week and one of the things,

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you know,

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I started out time,

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money and happiness matters just to kind of come full circle

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and, and finish up the story about how that even began

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when we moved out to the country is it started out

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as a blog.

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I blogged in my photography studio all the time,

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like I was blogging like 365 days a year.

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And then when I moved out here and I created time,

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money and happiness matters,

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I started blogging five times a week and I've since reduced

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it to three times a week.

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So I have loads and loads and loads of content.

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And so I've been on this soapbox topic lately,

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putting myself on a content diet and not creating anything new

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and really leveraging my time.

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I'm all about leveraging time,

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especially with habits.

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And one of the things that I've been talking about lately

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is soft selling.

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First of all,

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for all your listeners,

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please don't use the word selling,

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especially if it doesn't resonate with you.

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And instead use the word helping or serving,

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selling. There's a negative reaction to that word itself.

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And so if you can translate that to,

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Oh well I'm helping someone or I'm serving someone and in

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some capacity we are making their lives better.

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We're making even in the product based industry.

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So when someone buys a product from you,

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it makes them feel good.

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They want that product from you.

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You are helping them,

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you're enhancing their lives.

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Yeah, I mean you,

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in a way,

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you're selling happiness.

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Like if I buy a new pair of earrings that someone

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has made and I'm put them on and I feel better,

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I'm naturally happier.

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So I think all of us as listeners who are makers,

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if I wrap myself in a handmade quilt,

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that is the colors that just make me feel so good,

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I'm happier.

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So I think we could almost say that everyone who's a

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maker who's listening here has some quotion of providing happiness to

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whoever buys their product.

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Absolutely. And when you get out there and if you're blogging

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now or if you're in,

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you know,

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I think even for all product based businesses you have to

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be online.

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In today's world in some capacity.

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It doesn't have to be,

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you don't necessarily,

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you can have a brick and mortar store,

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but you also still probably are still out there needing to

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pay attention to what kind of reviews people are writing about

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you. I mean there's still an online factor and so when

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you're in this online world today,

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it is really something that I've been sharing about this technique

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of soft selling.

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It's really about sharing more about your experiences,

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your stories in the service based industry.

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It's really sharing more about your personal,

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and again,

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you don't have to get super personal,

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you don't have to air any dirty laundry,

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but you might think of a story and then how it

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relates to business and then you just make an offer.

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You just make a call to action and not every single

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opportunity. I'm a huge believer that whether it be on a

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social post,

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an email that you sent out or a blog post that

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that you should have a call to action on every single

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thing that you put out there into the world.

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Absolutely. I agree with you there.

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Totally. I think a lot of people who are online,

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I'm sure you see this too,

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we all do is you have no choice.

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If you're a product,

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you have to be showing your products all the time and

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it's a hard jump for a lot of people to understand.

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To your point earlier,

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not everyone can do what you do.

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What comes so naturally to you doesn't to everybody else.

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It's hard to make the jump of the understanding that why

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does someone want to watch me throw clay on the pottery

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wheel? Like who cares about that?

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They just want to see the finished product.

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Tell me what,

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think about this.

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Putting up the finished product photo.

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Now there's a place for it of course,

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but in social media is more salesy versus showing a video

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of you spinning or painting the pottery and putting it into

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the killed,

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you know,

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whatever the processes are.

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I don't claim to be a Potter,

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so I got this wrong.

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Don't worry.

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But that's still showing what you do,

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but not in a salesy way.

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Absolutely. And then I,

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for one,

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I would like to see that.

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I mean when you ask,

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well who would want to see that?

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I would need to,

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for those of us who like of course I'm really blessed

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to be left and right brain.

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I'm of course analytical and computer science,

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geeky. But then,

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you know,

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I had my photography studio,

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I'm super creative but,

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and there are certain things like I garden,

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I can,

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there's things that I like to do,

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but when it comes to making things,

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I would consider myself not to be as adept as other

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people. And so I'm fascinated by it.

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And I think when you get ready to hear a story

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about how a piece was made or why a piece was

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made, I had one of my clients,

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she does custom jewelry and some really beautiful,

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amazing custom jewelry,

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and she started to get out there sharing a little bit

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more about how like this piece was inspired by,

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or the time that she had her kids help organize her

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beads. As an example,

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she's starting to put an infuse a little bit more of

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what I call her unique brilliance into her work and into

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her stories and into her dialogue.

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And when you're doing this,

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you're by default creating some soft selling techniques that you're not

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even aware you're doing Right now.

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Would you say this might be a jump and you're allowed

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to say,

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no, I'm totally wrong,

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but I'm circling back to the idea of all the things

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that we're talking about to get ourselves positioned to be happier

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with what we're doing and our life,

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which I would equate to.

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Then having a better mindset,

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which when then we finally take action.

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We're more confident when we do and then we get reactions

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from people.

Speaker:

So let's go back to the Potter.

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Let's say someone was so scared to do it.

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They decide,

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okay, I'm just going to do it.

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I'm going to put something out there on Facebook,

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whatever platform.

Speaker:

But then the responses are,

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Oh that's so cool.

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Or I had no idea that that's how that worked or

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this is such a pretty color or thanks for sharing.

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Then that starts a cycle where people will see,

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Oh this works well,

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but it started back to your point with happiness,

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with getting yourself in that mindset to do it.

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Absolutely. And sometimes we really do and I'm not sure where

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at some point cause as kids I feel like we don't

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have as much fear around putting ourselves out there.

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And then as we grow into adults we start to become

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a little bit fearful of sharing what we're really good at

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doing. And we don't toot our own horn,

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if you will,

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in a way that allows other people to get to know

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exactly who we are.

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I would love to know those things.

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Other people,

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but someone who's a Potter and thinking like,

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well no one's going to want to do this is somewhere

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along the way we've told ourselves that.

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Um, I dunno,

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it's kind of like tooting my own horn.

Speaker:

Like there's some mindset block that we've put up about how

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not important it is.

Speaker:

Well, and for makers it's all that so cute.

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You're going to turn your hobby into a business.

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Oh, that's so nice.

Speaker:

And it's kind of like with a little cynical undertone,

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or maybe cynical isn't the right word,

Speaker:

but just like patting on the head type thing.

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Oh, that's such a good idea.

Speaker:

That's so cute.

Speaker:

And then people are so surprised when it actually turns into

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a thriving business,

Speaker:

but I think that's one point for us right here where

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that happens because you start hearing those types of things around

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you and it's like you start thinking,

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is this something I should be doing?

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Or maybe I'm crazy and thinking this.

Speaker:

So I'm thinking that might be a place where that applies.

Speaker:

Yeah. In fact,

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this makes me think of a story that I read.

Speaker:

Gretchen Rubin is the author of the happiness project and she

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shared, and this was kind of at a pivotal point for

Speaker:

me when I was taking time,

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money and happiness matters as a blog into a business coaching

Speaker:

business, like I was turning it into helping other people build

Speaker:

their business in the online space.

Speaker:

I remember reading how Gretchen shared her story about she was

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going to law school.

Speaker:

She was clerking for Sandra Day O'Connor actually,

Speaker:

and then she was like,

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I don't want to do that.

Speaker:

And she ended up having this conversation with her husband and

Speaker:

he just didn't have that supportive reaction that she was craving.

Speaker:

Like we really want to share like what we're excited about

Speaker:

in our business with our spouse.

Speaker:

And the realization that she had that she shared in his

Speaker:

book was that her husband,

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Jamie, was not the person that she needed to go to

Speaker:

to talk about business.

Speaker:

In other words like where she needed to go to get

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the Pat on the back to get the like,

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you know what,

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you can do it.

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Yes, you can turn your hobby into a business.

Speaker:

You can really like think of your hobby as a business

Speaker:

that the people closest to us often are not the people

Speaker:

that we should go to to get those,

Speaker:

that the Pat on the back and I read that at

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such a pivotal point in my journey that I thought,

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Oh, that makes so much sense because I was getting the

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same thing like,

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well, when is this hobby going to make money?

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And when you hear that from one of your,

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like in this case it was my husband.

Speaker:

When you hear that from someone so close to you,

Speaker:

you can't help but kind of like shrink and when you

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have that reaction.

Speaker:

So instead now I realized I don't go to my husband

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for that kind of Pat on the back.

Speaker:

He's not the person that I should talk to.

Speaker:

Interestingly enough,

Speaker:

well this is the time that we're recording but just a

Speaker:

few episodes back.

Speaker:

I did a show on how to have this conversation with

Speaker:

your significant other,

Speaker:

which was super interesting in terms of specifically how to walk

Speaker:

through and then what to do if your significant other is

Speaker:

at different levels of support like maybe they don't really agree

Speaker:

but because they love you you can carry on or worst

Speaker:

cases they sat there going to set it up to sabotage

Speaker:

you because they don't believe in it because what are you

Speaker:

doing quitting a full time job and starting this cause you

Speaker:

want to go all in like that affects everything in your

Speaker:

life. Absolutely.

Speaker:

The episode I'm referencing here is number two 32 with Anna

Speaker:

Osborne. It's called navigating through a difficult conversation and you can

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also find it@giftofbizunwrapped.com

Speaker:

forward slash Anna Osborne.

Speaker:

It's making me think a little bit how happiness could play

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into that too because when you're set with from the people

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that you're around the most,

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some pessimism,

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you need to interject more of these happiness steps in your

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life. To be able to keep going.

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Absolutely. And happiness also impacts our confidence and I think that's

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of course you know,

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happiness impacts your productivity,

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it impacts your sales,

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but it impacts your confidence and when you are a happier

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person and you are more confident in what you're doing and

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it does lend itself that when you do have those conversations

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with your spouse that you're coming from a place of greater

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confidence. There's an exercise that I teach my clients where I,

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you know,

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of course you do want to have,

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you know like especially if you're talking to your spouse about

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investing in more product or investing in a new idea and

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you know you've got some more monetary resources that might go

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out the door that you have that conversation and you have

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to come from a place of confidence like I am going

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to do,

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like this is something that needs to be done.

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It's not like,

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well I'm really gonna.

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There's a different tone in your voice and it makes a

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big difference when you have greater confidence.

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I bet you get a different reaction too because when I

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just heard you say it that way,

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I almost felt like you were asking for permission.

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Right, exactly.

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Where do you stand on the idea that we're all responsible

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for our own happiness?

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Like we have to give ourselves happiness.

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Someone else can't give you happiness.

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A hundred percent believe it and it comes back to when

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I was thinking about my motivational quote for my candle at

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the beginning,

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one of the quotes that had popped into my head was

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that 10% of what happens happens to you and 90% of

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it is how you react to it.

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You really can't change other people,

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but you can change how you react to them and it's

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kind of all tied together.

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Whereas you are responsible for your own happiness.

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Well, and that goes back to if you're in a situation

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like that,

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once you've identified,

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like we were talking about earlier,

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the different points in the tiny habits and what do you

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do then if you encounter a bad situation,

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you have a client who's really frustrated with you and really

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like beat you up.

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Then you go to one of the things that you know

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makes you feel good.

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Maybe for me it's going out,

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taking a walk,

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whatever it is to reground yourself to move forward.

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Absolutely. And it might even give you the confidence to get

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rid of the bad client.

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Well there's that.

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I agree there's always that because no matter how great we

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are, we will run into people who are returning a product.

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Shipping didn't get there on time,

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no fault of your own,

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but it always comes back to us.

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Right? So things happen for sure.

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That's the way it's going to be.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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So how would you circle around everything that we've talked about

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and kind of summarize happiness and the role it plays in

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our business?

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Just to put a bow on this conversation.

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Sure. So be very conscious within the tiny habits that you

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can create.

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And one of the things that I would suggest is that

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think about the things that you're currently doing in order to

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create a new habit.

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The best way to solidify it is to attach it to

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something you're already doing.

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So when you are getting ready to create your brain bliss

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activation, new habits come up with five new things,

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whether that be a gratitude practice,

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whether that be your grounding point element that you want to

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add into your day.

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Whether that's adding in silence,

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whether that's saying hi or smiling like we've talked about,

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all of these little tiny habits.

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Make a list of what you would like to add as

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a new habit but then attach it to something you're already

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doing and that is how you can best make that new

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habit stick.

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How long does it take to see results?

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There's a lot of studies that say a new habit takes

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21 days,

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it takes 60 days.

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I've seen even studies that say it takes even longer.

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But to be quite honest with a tiny habit when done

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right and there is a science to a tiny habit.

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Dr BJ Fogg at Stanford universities is the person who came

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up with this philosophy of tiny habits.

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And if you can solidify it by attaching it to a

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habit that you're already doing and you make sure in celebrate,

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cause again the celebrate is huge in order to make sure

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that you solidify it as a new habit,

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you can create a new tiny habit in as little as

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five days.

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Wow. And you just have to make sure to remember to

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do it,

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which the trigger is attaching it to something that you already

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do. Absolutely.

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And when you're first getting started,

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use a reminder on your phone,

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use a post it note on the bathroom mirror.

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You can use other elements to help you kickstart those initial

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few days if that's what's necessary.

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Having an alarm go off on your phone.

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What I do with my clients is I'll check in with

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them every day.

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Oh there you go.

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I feel like you get instant gratification when you do each

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little one of these.

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It's kind of like sprinkling.

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I'm going to go with fairy dust.

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Okay. Sprinkling fairy dust throughout your day.

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Absolutely. So for you with your 60 seconds of silence in

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the car,

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little fairy dust,

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you know for me with a smiling at the coffee shop,

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little fairy dust,

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picking the flowers for the kitchen table fairies,

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like you're sprinkling those throughout the day.

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So it's almost like you're reenergizing happiness into your day as

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a routine.

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Absolutely. I like that.

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Fairy dust.

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It could be a little flower pedal.

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I don't know.

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Spray of flower essence.

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Yeah, I love,

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I like the idea Of very desk.

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Okay. Alright.

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Fairy dust.

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We're going with fairy dust.

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So where do you see the company going in the future?

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The whole concept of happiness matters.

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And where are you looking at taking this?

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Well, I do have,

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so I actually love speaking.

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So I actually teach my own three day events.

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I have one coming up here pretty quick and in 2020

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I'm going to be coming out with some one day and

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two day events that I am teaching.

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And then of course I liked just motivational speaking and getting

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on other people's events and stages and get brought in to

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speak. Whether it be talking about happiness habits or whether it's

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coming in and talking about really improving what I call your

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dash to cash routines.

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It's a business routine around specifically related around revenue generation or

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your lead generation habits and those are the things that I

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really enjoy doing and getting out there in a bigger way.

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So more face to face,

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more meetings,

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more presentations,

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just continuing to spread the message.

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Absolutely. So for all of our listeners,

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where could they go to learn more about you and I'm

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specifically thinking the blog to those blog articles I bet would

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be really beneficial.

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Sure. You can find everything about all my social media handles

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and the blog@happinessmatters.com

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and for those that want to catch me doing a Facebook

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live, happiness matters.com

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forward slash F B live allows you to get reminders of

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when I go live every week.

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Is it a specific time?

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Usually at 10:00 AM Pacific on Fridays.

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There are exceptions of course,

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because you do have a life besides,

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I do like this coming Friday I'm teaching,

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so I might be going live on Thursday this week,

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but@happinessmatters.com forward slash FB live is how they can get reminders

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sent to them of when I go live.

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Perfect. And how long are your live shows?

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They're usually about a half an hour.

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I like to try and keep them relatively succinct just so

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that it's not,

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it's not too long.

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Perfect. This will all be in the show notes,

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gift biz listeners and Jennifer,

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you've also been very generous and you are offering a gift

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to our listeners.

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Absolutely. So for your listeners who want to get out there

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in a bigger way on social media and just really want

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to do it efficiently so that you don't feel like you're

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starting from scratch.

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It's part of my content diets structure is how to turn

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one blog post or article into 30 plus promotional pieces of

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content. So it's really allowing yourself to be seen in a

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bigger way to really expand in your business.

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And you can get that@happinessmatters.com

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forward slash gift biz.

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So I love that you're offering this because we talked about

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this before.

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We actually had this whole conversation obviously,

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but it spins back to when we were talking about letting

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people see behind the scenes.

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Remember when we were just talking about the Potter's wheel?

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All of that is any type of content.

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So whether it's a blog article,

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whether it's something that you put on Facebook live,

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you know,

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you could attach,

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I haven't seen the gift that you're giving us,

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but I'm thinking there's lots of content that we all make

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that you can regenerate into different things.

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Absolutely. It's all about repurposing and this is going to give

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you the ideas that you need to really get yourself out

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there in a bigger way and more soft selling than that

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hard stuff that we don't like.

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Absolutely. Thank you so much.

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And we're going to all be happier because we're going to

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listen and do what you've just said.

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So it's all gonna come together beautifully.

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Thank you so much.

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It's just great.

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Thank you so much.

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This has been a wonderful conversation.

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It feels like a soft topic,

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but I really understand in having this conversation with you how

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it really,

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really can affect our output and our ability overall to feel

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good about what we're doing with our lives.

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So thank you so much.

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I appreciate your being on the show today.

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Thank you so much.

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So I appreciate it.

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I'm ready to interject some more happiness into my life by

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adding some new tiny habits.

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How about you?

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It's so simple to do and maybe you'll decide that this

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is one of your resolutions for the new year.

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Why don't we all decide that 2020 will be our happiest

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year yet this isn't a tiny habit,

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but I bet it's going to put a smile on your

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face. I'm talking about my very special Christmas episode up next

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week on the podcast.

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I'm doing something I've never done before for the holiday and

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I guarantee it's gonna make you a little bit happy Fala.

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Bye for now.

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I want to make sure you're familiar with my free Facebook

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group called gift is free.

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It's a place where we all gather and our community to

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support each other.

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We've got a really fun post in there.

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That's my favorite of the week,

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I have to say where I invite all of you to

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share what you're doing,

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to show pictures of your product and to show them what

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you're working on for the week,

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to get reaction from other people and just for fun because

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we all get to see the wonderful products that everybody in

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the community is making.

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My favorite post every single week without doubt,

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wait, what aren't you part of the group already?

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If not,

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make sure to jump over to Facebook and search for the

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group gift biz breeze.

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Don't delay.

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