296 – ADHD Tendencies and How to Focus on Things that Matter with Shaun Roney

Modern life offers plenty of distractions, but if we want to move forward, we need to focus. If you struggle with focus, overwhelm, and stress, tune in to today’s episode for tips to focus on the things that matter – in your business and in life.

As a Life Coach, Shaun educates to increase awareness as well as coaches clients to help uncover obstacles that may be causing overwhelm and stress.

Certified through The Life Coach School, and the International ADHD Coach Training Center, she helps clients reduce stress by learning how to better manage their minds. She’s driven by the desire to help neurodivergent minds access their brilliance.

As a creative serial entrepreneur, she’s owned a dance studio, a furniture repurposing business, and created a product TwinkleTies, before becoming a Coach.

As an introverted extrovert, she’ll stay home and read or hit the town and boogie down with the best of them. Her favorite ways to spend time are reading and playing board games, or spending time outside with her adult children, husband, and their dogs Miso and Mojo.

How To Manage Business Stress

  • Listen in for the initial conversation about what ‘ADHD tendencies’ means and how it can be addressed. 
  • The way we think about stress affects our experience of it. What we choose to think about what’s happening creates or magnifies the feeling of stress.
  • When you feel stress because of what’s happening in your business (deadlines, delays, whatever) pause, take a breath, and notice the facts vs. what you’re thinking about it. What you choose to think can make the experience less or more stressful.
  • Be intentional. Decide on purpose what you want to think. Flip your own script. Instead of, “There are so many orders to fill! I’m so overwhelmed!” Think, “This is what I was hoping for! Our products are going to make so many people happy. We’ll put in some hard work and long hours but it will all be worth it in the end.
  • Actively focus on positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts.
  • Do things that support you to feel good like enjoying hot tea before you start your day, take a few minutes to step outside and feel the snow on your face, etc.
  • When you feel a positive emotion, it’s more likely that you can get a positive outcome and you will feel better about it.
  • Actively ask yourself, “How is what’s happening right now wonderful?” Your brain will find evidence to support that it is when you ask it to.
  • Listen to the full conversation for more!

Tips To Focus On What Matters

  • Creative brains may struggle to decide where to start. Just pick something and go.
  • Train your brain to just start. Set a timer for 10 minutes and commit to starting anywhere. If, when the timer goes off, you haven’t hit a rhythm or flow, give yourself permission to stop.
  • Hyperfocus is when you immerse yourself in something, everything feels easy, and you lose track of time. Learn to notice when this happens so other important things aren’t neglected.
  • Break big, daunting tasks down into pieces. In the first chunk of time you spend on it, give yourself the freedom to just explore what needs to be done (say, for an hour). “Play in the sandbox.” When you come back to it, you will have a better idea of where to go next.
  • Set tangible goals for each chunk of time you spend on the big task. Identify specifically what you will do – things that can be checked off as complete.
  • Plan ahead. You may be able to plan your whole week ahead. Or if that feels like too much, even creating a plan for the next day will help.
  • Don’t get stuck thinking there’s only one best choice. Thoughts create feelings. Change your thinking to, “What if they’re all the right choice?” Just pick one and adjust.
  • “Wrong” is totally subjective. You are the one who decides if a choice is right or wrong. Give yourself permission to make a choice and for it to be right.
  • Don’t beat yourself up for the decisions and choices you make. Trust and be kind to yourself.
  • Give yourself credit for doing things many others don’t have the courage to do.
  • Tune in for tons more on this PLUS the definition of an extroverted introvert!

Shaun’s Contact Links

WebsiteFacebook | Instagram | Twitter | Linkedin


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Transcript
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Gift biz unwrapped episode 296,

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we create or magnify the feeling of stress.

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By the way,

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we're choosing to think about things.

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Attention gifters bakers,

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crafters, and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.

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Whether you have an established business or looking to start one.

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Now you are in the right place.

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This is gift to biz unwrapped,

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helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.

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Join us for an episode,

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packed full of invaluable guidance,

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resources, and the support you need to grow.

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Your gift biz.

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Here is your host gift biz gal,

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Sue moon Heights.

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I dare it Sue,

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And thanks for spending some time with me today,

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right? Smack dab in the middle of holiday sales season,

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maybe you're listening as you're packing up and shipping out orders.

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I hope you have some holiday music playing,

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maybe a nice cup of cocoa or something special to remember

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that all of this hard work,

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although super busy can be enjoyable to find some things that

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make you smile and add them to your environment to make

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this time special for you too,

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because you deserve that.

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Look, you're running around like crazy to ensure everyone else has

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a festive holiday and yours should be too.

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For me.

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It's holiday scented candles and cinnamon or peppermint flavored coffee in

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the mornings.

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Maybe even a straight trip to Starbucks for a desserty drink

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like a peppermint white chocolate mocha latte.

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Oh, Yom.

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I can see that.

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Now. Point is it's the holidays.

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You guys let's grab our share of the joy to this

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attention, to how you consciously manage through your days leads right

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into our topic,

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not just for the holidays,

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but for every day of the year,

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the conversation we're going to get into today revolves around focus,

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overwhelm, and stress.

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But in a way that I think will bring you relief

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and a way of coping with these feelings that let's face

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it. We all have from time to time to varying degrees.

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I had some insight myself.

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When I was talking with Sean,

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I am now defining myself as an introverted extrovert.

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Perhaps you are too.

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Let's see.

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Okay, Today it is my pleasure to bring you Sean Roni.

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As a life coach,

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Sean educates to increase awareness and coaches to help uncover obstacles

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that may be causing overwhelm and stress certified through the life

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coach school and the international ADHD coach training center.

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She helps clients reduce stress by learning how to better manage

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their minds.

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She's driven by the desire to help neurodivergent minds access their

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brilliance. As a creative serial entrepreneur,

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she's owned a dance studio,

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a furniture repurposing business,

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and created a product called twinkle ties before becoming a coach

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as an introverted extrovert,

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she'll stay home and read or hit the town and boogie

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down with the best of them.

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Her favorite ways to spend time are reading and playing board

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games or spending time outside with her adult children,

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husband, and their dogs.

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Ms. Owen mojo,

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Sean, welcome to the gift biz unwrapped podcast.

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Thank you Sue for having me.

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I'm so excited to have this conversation.

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I am too.

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And we were talking a little bit in the pre-chat about

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how we did an episode,

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just a little bit back on stress reduction and everybody was

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all over that show.

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So it worked out so perfectly that we're together again,

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and we can continue the conversation in a little bit of

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a different vein timing.

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Couldn't be better.

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Wonderful. Yeah.

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And as we get started,

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I always begin by having our guests share themselves in a

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little bit of a different way,

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and that is through a motivational candle.

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So if you were to form a candle,

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that's all about you.

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Sean, tell us what your motivational candle would look like by

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color and quote.

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So the color would be orange.

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And what stood out to me with orange is it's bright.

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It's bold,

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it's warm the quote.

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I actually kind of have two because one feels more motivational

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than the other.

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So the motivational piece of it is life.

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Isn't about finding yourself.

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Life is about creating yourself and it's paid George Bernard Shaw.

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And what goes with that is never follow an unscarred general

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into battle.

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That was initially my quote.

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And I'm like,

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it's just not super motivational.

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If you just listen to it.

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I actually don't know who quoted it originally.

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I heard a woman named Amanda Ellis speak about it.

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It stands out to me because I think people often look

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to others as experts that don't share their same life struggle.

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And I see that a lot.

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I think with the people that I work with.

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So keeping in mind,

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never follow an uninspired general into battle.

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You want to find someone who has been there before that

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kind of guide you share your experience and guide you through.

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And I think you're right.

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If they share struggles that you have,

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you feel more connected with them and I'm sure you trust

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them more because of that shared experience,

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what also popped out to me when you were saying that

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is always have to be careful of who you follow,

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because especially right now online,

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everybody can state whatever they want,

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right? And so there's so many people online who are doing

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things or teaching things that they haven't done before.

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And we all know the truth behind all of this is

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it's not a hundred percent perfect for sure.

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That's one thing I think within our community here,

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I called the audience gifters bakers,

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crafters, makers,

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listeners. You guys know that that's you.

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We always want everything to be perfect because we're making it

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with our own hands.

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And it represents us from a soul level,

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almost the products that we make.

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We've got to know that starting a business and running things

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is never,

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always going to be perfect.

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So true.

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Yes. Following somebody and trusting somebody who's shared where they've struggled,

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I think is really important.

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So I love both your quotes,

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but I wanted to just extend my thoughts onto the second

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one. So Shawn talked to us a little bit about your

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journey and how you got to be a life coach.

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Yes. So I was the person who never knew what they

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wanted to be when they grow up to the point that

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I actually gave presentations to my middle school on career day

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about that subject.

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And so I think my career path was really in many

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ways, not typical,

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which kind of goes along with,

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I think how I described myself and how I function so

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many different career paths.

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I started in child development.

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I wanted to be a psychologist.

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And then I did everything in between the road,

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went many different directions until I ended up as a coach.

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And it was after I hired my first coach actually.

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And it had made such a difference for me that I

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then turned around and wanted to offer the same thing to

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others. I think the common thread through it all was that

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I was always kind of coaching people,

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no matter what role I was in,

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I was listening kind of in that coaching position,

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Were you the friend that everyone always turned to when they

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needed a shoulder to cry on words of advice,

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boyfriend, breakup,

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drama, all that.

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Yes. And I feel like the more obvious thing was like

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strangers, like strangers in the grocery store or like I would

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go to get my haircut and they'd say how you know,

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hairstylists are like therapists.

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They, they listen,

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I would actually reverse the roles.

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So I would be in the chair and feel like I

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was the one that was doing the coaching.

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Oh, that's so funny.

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I think it's so interesting how things that naturally came to

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us when we were growing up are things that we circled

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back to the talents that we had at one time.

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Even you probably didn't recognize this for yourself,

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that this could be something that you could do as a

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profession. That's so true.

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It's so interesting.

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I have to do this because I'm just so super curious.

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So we said in the intro,

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several of the businesses that you had,

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but one of them sparked my curiosity,

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which was your product,

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twinkle ties.

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Can you tell us what that was?

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Yes. It was a product that I created to keep tap

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shoe ties together.

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They were giant gemstones,

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basically acrylic stones,

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basically a super fancy ponytail holder that I repurposed into a

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tie for tap shoes.

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So that children like five and under could just slip them

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off and on their feet.

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Oh, so They were flexible.

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So you wouldn't have to tie the shoes all the time.

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You wouldn't have to tie the shoes all the time.

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You'd put the twinkle ties on ones and then you not

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have to mess with them ever again.

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I would have 15 kids sometimes in an hour long class

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and I would spend half the class tying tap shoes.

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It solved that problem.

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And I decided,

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you know,

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this is great.

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I'm going to actually create it,

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package it,

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market it.

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I sold it to dance supply stores.

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At one point I thought I would take it on shark

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tank. And then I realized actually it was just a super

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fancy ponytail holder and could not be patented and all the

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things and just ended up doing it for fun.

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It was like a handmade craft project For fun.

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And you made some money along the way and it solved

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a need.

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It's a great story because so often products that get created

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are because they're someone someone's struggling with something and finds a

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solution. And then all of a sudden,

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Oh my gosh,

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this is something that maybe other people could use too.

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Yes. So very interesting.

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Okay. So let's jump back to life coaching.

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I think there are a lot of people who are like,

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well, I could be a life coach.

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I know a lot I've lived,

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you know,

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if you want to go down that angle,

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but you knew that you needed more to be able to

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say and qualify yourself as a life coach,

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not being very familiar with this industry,

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what happened from there to get training so that you could

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actually be educated and qualified to be a life coach.

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Okay. I think I have some great examples.

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Laurie do par my first coach,

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who I ended up getting certified through when she opened the

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international ADHD coach training center,

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she was such a wonderful example to me of what coaching

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should look like could look like it's just so professional,

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such a great listener,

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and then learning the tools in order to do that was

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definitely helpful.

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Same with the life coach school.

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I mean,

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Brooke Castillo is an amazing,

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amazing mentor.

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I just knew I wanted to be the best version of

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what a coach looked like that I could be.

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I also knew that you don't need to be certified at

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all in order to be a life coach.

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There is a belief part.

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So it wasn't a requirement.

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I didn't actually think I needed it in order to coach,

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but I wanted it because I just felt like it would

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make me even better.

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And I also am a lifelong learner.

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So I think there's that component where I am always learning

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and growing.

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And then I want to share that with the people that

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I'm working with.

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Okay. That makes sense.

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And also like how to work with people so they can

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accept messages or move forward with whatever it is they're struggling

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with. And I'm sure there are lots of techniques.

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I was a communications major and a journalism major.

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So a lot of communicating,

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but there are certain ways to talk with people,

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not manipulative.

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I want to make that clear,

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but to help them get to where they're trying to go.

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So there is a coaching aspect,

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I think that can be trained for sure.

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There are tools and strategies and skills that you can build

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up. And then I think each individual brings to it what

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they come equipped with.

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And for me,

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I just think there's a bit of like a sensitivity intuitiveness

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and just checking in with my gut and are we going

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this way or this way,

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and being really open to the direction the client wants.

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That makes sense.

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Yeah. You bring your own personality and your own style to

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it. So I'm thinking of maybe some people who are listening

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here who are like,

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yeah, I had a life coach and it didn't really work

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well. I think sometimes perhaps it takes a few people to

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find the right connection,

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the right fit for you.

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Yes, Absolutely.

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I would say if you're interested in coaching,

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don't give up,

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there are so many different flavors of coaches.

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I say this about people with ADHD tendencies as well.

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I know we haven't really stepped there yet,

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but no two people with ADHD,

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tendencies or ADHD look alike.

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There's just so many different ways it can mix together and

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show up.

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The same thing goes for coaches.

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It was a perfect segue.

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So let's do go there.

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And I would say definitely for,

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to be an ADHD coach,

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you had to have training cause you needed to learn and

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understand the latest,

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greatest what's happening in that area.

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All of that.

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I'm sure ADHD.

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So let me ask you a question here.

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I have a couple of friends recently,

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meaning within the last two years,

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you know,

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and I'm not just like right out of college,

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let's face it.

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Who never thought there were issues or questions.

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And now they've been diagnosed as ADHD.

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The majority of the people who are listening are women who

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are, let's say 40 or older.

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Is this something that comes on later in life?

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It's not that it comes on later in life.

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So the answer to that question would be no specifically part

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of the way it's diagnosed is like a self-reporting and questionnaire.

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And one component that they look at is how long have

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these tendencies been with you?

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Has there been kind of a lifelong pattern?

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They may shift a little bit over time and look different,

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but there is some history that's required.

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So what are tendencies?

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What does that mean?

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I know there's not one catch all if you're this,

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this, this,

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or this,

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but could you give us just a few examples?

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Sure. The part of the brain that ADHD affects is referred

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to as our executive functions.

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And depending on which school of thought you kind of go

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with and how they're categorized,

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I'd say there's anywhere from four to six or seven different

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kind of sets of executive functions that come into play.

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And they deal with things like organizing and prioritizing time management,

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like looking at things through a linear lens versus a more

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circular lens.

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The linearness is not typically The circular is more ADHD because

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they're not straight line focused.

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Now let's face it.

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All of us can fit in this bucket.

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I think this is my guess.

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You'll tell me if I'm right John or not,

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but all of us can fit into that bucket from time

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to time.

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Like not being super focused,

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not sticking to our calendar.

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When we put everything on and said,

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we were going to do it,

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looking at a messy closet and being so overwhelmed and intimidated,

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like you don't even know where to start to organize or

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those exist.

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So those I would say are examples of how it can

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show up.

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But when someone has ADHD,

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the level that they are experiencing,

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all of those different things,

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all of the time,

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every day is exponentially higher.

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Okay. So you intuitively then know this isn't the way it

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should be Intuitively,

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but by talking with someone,

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you can get a sense of where they're at with it,

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where their level of like versus non-functioning is I'm not a

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doctor. So I always make it really clear if someone is

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challenged and experiencing these struggles and they do not have a

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diagnosis, that is something we talk about.

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And if they feel a diagnosis is helpful or what they're

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after then by all means,

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go see a doctor and talk to them and see if

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they can expand your awareness and diagnose you because it'll give

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you a frame of reference to start with.

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You have more information,

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all of a sudden that's available to you.

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So I think even just the awareness around it and people

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understanding the reason,

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I think that there's a delay and it shows up later

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in life for women,

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is that there's a tendency for the way that it shows

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up for women to not be as obvious when they're younger.

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It tends to show up in a more daydreamy less hyperactive

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fashion. I think when we think ADHD,

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traditionally we think hyperactive can't sit in a chair typically that

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like eight to 12 year old boy who can't keep his

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hands off his neighbor or is throwing things or like bouncing

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his foot all the time for girls,

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it tended to be more of a inner hyperactivity.

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It's not one way or the other,

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all boys are this way and all girls are this way,

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but the majority like a larger number of girls experience it

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in that more inattentive fashion.

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Okay. That makes a lot of sense to me because the

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boy to use your example would have been the one who

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got the attention.

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The parents would have been called in in my day.

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It would have been disciplinary.

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I think now we understand better when would test for ADHD,

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but girls,

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because it's more inner,

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it's more hidden.

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And we probably wouldn't talk about it because we're not thinking

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that it's something even to talk about at that point.

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And then now we're older.

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We know more ADHD overall,

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as a topic is more discussed.

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That's really where I wanted to go with this at this

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point. So what you're saying is if you're feeling something like

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that, talk to you,

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go talk to a doctor and see if this relates to

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you. And then you can go from there.

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What happens when ADHD?

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I'm just going to say women get appropriate guidance.

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What's the difference before and after?

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Oh my gosh.

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Honestly, it can be night and day.

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Like I talked to so many clients who didn't know they

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had ADHD until later in life got diagnosed.

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Some of them have chosen to take a medication,

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which is the treatment for ADHD are amazed at the results

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like really could,

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because what happens is the part of the brain it's typically

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neuro-transmitter related,

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but whether more of one is needed or like the uptake

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of one needs to be increased,

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there are so many different ways and medications can target the

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brain. And there are really a lot of options today for

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some people,

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literally that can be the start of opening their eyes to

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a whole different kind of way of being that being said,

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there are always side effects with medication.

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That's just part of the thing with any medication that we

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take there's to be said for finding that perfect sweet spot

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of the benefits.

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Like as many of the benefits as you can receive with

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as few of the side effects as possible.

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And I think that balance can be a little bit tricky

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and takes a little bit of time regards to medication.

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It can be very helpful if someone decides they don't want

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to try medication out the gate or they they've tried it.

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And they decided they wanted to look at something like an

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alternative. It can be helpful.

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Just the normalizing factor alone,

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realizing you're not on an Island by yourself experiencing this struggle.

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That's what it feels like.

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For many people,

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they're just unaware of the number,

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like the sheer number of other women that are experiencing this.

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And so I think the more connected you are,

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and you start to learn more about it.

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There's a whole community out there of neurodiverse people that have

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ADHD, you feel just so much less alone.

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And it really normalizes it in many ways.

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And I don't think that everyone has to automatically make a

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jump like,

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okay, I'm going to go get checked out.

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If I have ADHD,

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I have to take medicine.

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Cause some people are really opposed to taking medication of any

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kind, but at least you have more information and you can

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make choices for yourself.

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Absolutely. Yeah.

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It's always a personal decision for sure.

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I just wanted to talk about that because you are a

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specialist here,

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you coach,

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I didn't know a lot about ADHD from that manner.

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I'm glad that we talked about that.

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And now I want to broaden the conversation a little bit

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more, which then relates pretty much to all our listeners.

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And that is how do we deal with the stress of

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running a business?

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There's first of all,

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stress in the beginning when you're thinking of starting a business,

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because it's like,

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Oh my gosh,

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is it going to work?

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What if it doesn't work?

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I don't want to put myself out there and then have

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it not work all of that.

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Then when you actually get into a business and let's go

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with the fact that it's working,

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then there's so much around you that you're having to deal

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with. And maybe you're going to bring in employees and this

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is all what you want,

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but there's a stress level that comes with it.

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Inevitably. How do we work with some of this?

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Because we're really talking with you from a brain standpoint,

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right? That's your specialty.

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Yes. From a brain slash mindset standpoint,

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I feel like there's two components to stress.

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The model that I use,

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which is taught through the life coach school,

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super helpful stress actually is a feeling that we experience and

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we create or magnify that feeling of stress,

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by the way,

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we're choosing to think about things.

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So whatever is happening in our business,

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whether it's deadlines that are looming like multiple deadlines in one

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week, or whether there's like a delay on product that you

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need for packaging,

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right? Like maybe there's a packaging delay.

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And so you're not able to get everything assembled and out

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to fill orders that you have,

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whatever is going on.

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The thoughts that you choose to think about it are either

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going to make that experience more stressful or less stressful.

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Typically when we're in a high stress state,

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our mind is running.

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We're like leaving control of it to our primitive brain.

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The part of our brain that is very reactionary and non-intentional

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and less thinking on purpose,

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we can just become aware like in those moments,

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when we're feeling super stressed,

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take a deep breath and look around and become aware of

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what's really happening.

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The facts of it.

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And what we're thinking about it,

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like all the thoughts we're having,

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like I'm never going to get this finished.

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This is going to hold everything up.

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The company is going to be upset with me.

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The client is going to be upset with me.

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They're not going to get it on time.

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Whatever the thoughts are that are creating the stress.

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Just notice how,

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when you think the thought the stress increases.

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And so we can ask ourselves in those moments,

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how do I want to choose to think about this so

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that I feel differently,

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whatever feeling might be most supportive,

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you know,

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it might be productive rather than stress.

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We might want to feel productive in spite of all of

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the things that are happening this week.

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And is there a thought that can help us to be

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more productive,

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feel more?

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So then you literally direct yourself to say something different in

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your thoughts.

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Yeah. Now it's not an affirmation.

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It's not something that's unbelievable.

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So it's not like a pretty flowery thought.

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For example,

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everything's fine.

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I'm just going to roll with it.

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If your brain does not believe everything's fine and you can

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just roll with it.

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The thought is not going to be helpful.

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It's going to become almost like a stressful thought to try

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to say over and over.

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So you want to find a thought that is believable.

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How about this?

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It's mid December.

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The holidays are upon us,

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many people in businesses like ours don't even really enjoy the

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holidays, which is why I had that other podcast earlier.

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You've got to start enjoying this.

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This is crazy.

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You're going to be so stressed out that you're a holiday

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passes you by and you don't get any joy or happiness

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out of it.

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So from a thinking standpoint,

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instead of thinking,

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Oh my gosh,

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Christmas is coming.

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I have so many orders.

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We're going to have so many employees here.

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We're going to be working late hours.

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I'm going to be so worn down.

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There's just so much going on.

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I'm overwhelmed instead.

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Switch it and say,

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this is what I was hoping for.

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My business is a success.

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I know we're going to be putting in a lot of

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hours. We've got so many orders.

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Our product's going to make people so happy.

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And I'm so energized that everything's working so well.

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Would that be a good example?

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Exactly. So you basically flipped the script and you told the

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other side of the story,

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the other version of the story,

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and it's a version that's just going to feel so much

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better to focus on.

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So when you focus on that story,

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that narrative,

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you just told that is true.

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Your body is going to experience it in a way that

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feels good versus stress.

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I'm thinking about how,

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when we're an outsider,

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looking in,

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I'll take the same example that I just said,

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an outsider looking in at someone who's running a business,

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who's getting all of that business and there's all the hustle

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bustle around it.

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We can look envious onto that situation.

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If that's something we aspire to,

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but then it seems like the second we get into our

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own situations is when it turns stressful and overwhelm.

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For sure.

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Again, it goes back to the way we're thinking about it.

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But in addition,

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I think there is something also to be said about the

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self care component and just also making sure you're doing things

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that support you,

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whether it's enjoying a cup of hot tea before your day

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starts or having a favorite candle in the room that you

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work in or getting outside,

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letting snow fall on your face,

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You guys all know how much I love this note.

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It started snowing today.

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When we're recording,

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it must be a good luck charm,

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Sean, because it started like right as I was coming in,

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looking out the window in my office and getting ready to

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call you.

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Yeah. I love it.

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Pulling in that sense of wonder and like joy and that

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little things that actually support you and feel good.

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Yeah, Yeah.

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And sleep and eating healthy.

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This is something I think that we also get into when

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we're so busy,

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we just grab comfort food that maybe isn't so healthy,

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but we're like,

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what the heck?

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You know,

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I need something to make me feel good.

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And then afterwards you don't feel so good when you've eaten

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a bag of potato chips or yeah.

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Yeah. So it's a quick dopamine hit.

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It works for a moment or two and then it's yeah.

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Recovery. So give his listeners while this holiday season is upon

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us. And when you're feeling stress,

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I want you to try what Shonda said.

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Really focus on what you're saying to yourself and see if

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you can intentionally flip the script to be positive and excited

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about what you're doing and see how that works for you.

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I think that's genius.

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Sean. I love that.

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Thank you.

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Also, I just ask yourself,

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what's working with this.

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Like, how is this wonderful for me right now?

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How is this perfect,

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whatever is happening and your brain will actually find evidence that

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it is.

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If you ask it to,

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Oh, there you go.

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Okay. I like that too.

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Perfect. All right.

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So let's move on to other times just as we're working

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through our week,

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I'll speak for myself,

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but I think everyone can say this too,

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is we intend to get something done and we can so

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easily get off task.

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Yes. The whole topic of focus,

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we really want genuinely want to do what we're saying,

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but somehow we can find different ways of not getting it

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done, doing something else.

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Instead, you kind of almost forget at the end of the

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day, what you came in to do and it never got

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done. What can you share with us about focus?

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Tips on staying focused are coming up right after this quick

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break. Yes.

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It's possible.

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Increase your sales without adding a single customer.

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How you ask by offering personalization with your products,

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rapid cake box with a ribbon saying happy 30th birthday,

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Annie, or at a special message and date to wedding or

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party favors for an extra meaningful touch.

Speaker:

Where else can you get customization with a creatively spelled name

Speaker:

or find packaging?

Speaker:

That includes a saying whose meaning is known to a select,

Speaker:

to not are customers willing to pay for these special touches.

Speaker:

They'll tell their friends and word will spread about your company

Speaker:

and products.

Speaker:

You can create personalized ribbons and labels in seconds,

Speaker:

make just one or thousands without waiting weeks or having to

Speaker:

spend money to order yards and yards print words in any

Speaker:

language or font,

Speaker:

add logos,

Speaker:

images, even photos,

Speaker:

perfect for branding or adding ingredient and flavor labels.

Speaker:

To for more information,

Speaker:

go to the ribbon print company.com.

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So interesting to me,

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I'm always like reconsidering and looking at it.

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I think so many different things come into play,

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but if you have the most common ones I see are

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when you're neurodiverse creative,

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I would say I E creative brains,

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there can be a tendency to not know where to start.

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So sometimes it's just a matter of there's so many options

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because our brain can see potential kind of everywhere.

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I think that's part of being creative.

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It can sometimes be hard to pin down exactly where to

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start, which then causes us like not to,

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or to delay or to do other things.

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So that's one component.

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Another is that there's a thing called hyperfocus.

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I'm sure your listeners have experienced this where you just kind

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of like get into the rhythm,

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the flow of something and it's just happening.

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And it's very organic and you feel like you could go

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for, you know,

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24 hours.

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That's a good thing,

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right? It can be,

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it totally can be.

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Not if things around you though aren't happening that need to

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be, Oh,

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if You're hyper focusing on the wrong thing,

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you mean yes.

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Or if you hyper focus and literally lose sense of time

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and just you go in and you're thinking I'm going to

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hyper-focus for two hours and then like nine hours later,

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you come out and you're like,

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Oh my gosh,

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where'd the day go.

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Right? Where did the sun go?

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Could this be an artist who's painting to sell?

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So not just painting for fun,

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but painting to sell.

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And the painting that should only take three hours has now

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taken seven because every single thing has to be perfect.

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And in business time is money.

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So would that be hyper-focusing that would not be in the

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best interests of someone who's an artist.

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It could be,

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but that almost sounds even a little more like perfectionism,

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not even hyper-focused,

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maybe hyper-focused on the details of how it's not perfect.

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Okay. It's a little bit different.

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I'm talking about a little more of the hyper-focus where things

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are coming and happening really easily,

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and it's really enjoyable.

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So the experience is enjoyable and you lose track of time

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there. That type of hyper-focus,

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the perfectionism is a different type.

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It is like you're,

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hyper-focused on being critical of what's not quite right.

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And fixing it,

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fixing it,

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fixing it.

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So you're saying then the losing track of time,

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then our hours that you could have been used for something

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else. Yeah.

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Yes. Or just to be aware of it,

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because if you can kind of be aware of when you're

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in that hyper-focused state,

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you can put tasks or things need to be done.

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That require more attention.

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Sometimes it does make sense to just keep rolling with it

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and knock it out.

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But I think being aware of it helps.

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So if you're completely unaware that you're doing it,

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or like why you're,

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hyper-focusing being aware of why you're doing it,

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is it because you're being a perfectionistic person in that moment

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and it's not quite right?

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Or is it because you're really enjoying the process?

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It's a productive hyper-focus for you?

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I think there's both.

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So I think the power is in knowing and being aware

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of when you're doing it and why,

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and kind of harnessing it,

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Being conscious of it.

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And then saying,

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I am in the groove,

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this is perfect.

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I'm going to keep going.

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Or I am spending way too much time on this.

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Is that right?

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Yes. Okay.

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This is brand new to me because usually I'm thinking when

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I'm hyper-focused,

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it's all good.

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Cause I'm in productive.

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I'm getting it done.

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I might end to your point about when you aren't sure

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how to start that first part.

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Sometimes getting started takes a long time.

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It's like the gears churning and it's really slow.

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But then when you get in the groove,

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you're going faster.

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So the last thing you want to do is stop,

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you know?

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Yes, that's true.

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So that's like noticing that and being like,

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Nope, I got started and it's coming easily right now.

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So I'm just going to keep going.

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Also getting started a lot of the time,

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a suggestion that's helpful is just to set a timer for

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10 minutes and commit to starting anywhere.

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And if after 10 minutes you have not hit any type

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of a rhythm or flow with it.

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Give yourself permission to stop.

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That can be helpful for some people,

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especially that are wired with a little more neurodivergent brain.

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And so what it does is it kind of trains your

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brain going forward,

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just start because if it's not coming,

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if we're not really figuring it out,

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we're going to be able to stop and then try it

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again a little bit later in the day or the next

Speaker:

day, it can help get some people out of a rut.

Speaker:

One of the tricks I use for myself,

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tell me if this is just like totally crazy or what,

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but if I'm in the middle of a project and I

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know that I'm going to need to stop and start again

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the next day or later in the afternoon or whatever it

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is, I don't get to necessarily a stopping point.

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I stop one step before that.

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Something like the next easy thing that brings something to completion

Speaker:

because that's so easy to get done.

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Then I get in the groove faster.

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If that makes sense.

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Yeah. That's really smart.

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Actually. That's a great strategy.

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I haven't thought of that before,

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but it sounds like a wonderful way.

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You're like I'm going to set myself up for success.

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So when I start again,

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I have a very clear thing that I'm going to do.

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And then once I do that,

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my brain might just take it away and move into the

Speaker:

next part.

Speaker:

Yeah. And it's something really easy to do.

Speaker:

And then you also get the reward of having finished it

Speaker:

right away.

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So then you want to continue going Yes.

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Super smart strategy.

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Just my little trick.

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I love it.

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Anything else about focus that we should cover,

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defining where to start?

Speaker:

So figuring out and I guess that goes to also creating

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the plan.

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If you have something that you're needing to do,

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let's take,

Speaker:

I know lots of times people are challenged with getting a

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website up and running.

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So that overall task is daunting.

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Just focusing on getting a website up and running,

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there are way too many things.

Speaker:

They're breaking it down into separate pieces.

Speaker:

And then focusing on each individual piece gives you a place

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to start.

Speaker:

Yes, For sure.

Speaker:

When there's a huge,

Speaker:

daunting task,

Speaker:

breaking it down really helpful.

Speaker:

Also just sometimes giving yourself the freedom to like the first

Speaker:

chunk of time that you're going to work on it.

Speaker:

It's really just exploration time.

Speaker:

I call it playing in the sandbox.

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That's a little fun.

Speaker:

So like you have no idea really what this giant project

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is going to break down.

Speaker:

Like you have no idea what the little pieces are going

Speaker:

to be.

Speaker:

So you go in with the intention of this first hour

Speaker:

that I'm going to spend working on this website,

Speaker:

build, I'm really just going to play in the sandbox and

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explore all the possible things that need to happen.

Speaker:

Allow myself to go down the rabbit,

Speaker:

holes with it.

Speaker:

I investigate all the things.

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And then the next time you go into it,

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you're going to have a little more of a framework like,

Speaker:

okay, I've already looked at all the things.

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Now I'm going to put some of it together.

Speaker:

Some of the pieces together and decide,

Speaker:

make some decisions.

Speaker:

Oh, I like that the first hour could be discovery a

Speaker:

few. Well,

Speaker:

I'm gonna look at different website options that I know are

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out there.

Speaker:

I'm going to think about what I really need to have

Speaker:

for my business.

Speaker:

What type of functionality I really need to have.

Speaker:

I'm going to look at what looks easier.

Speaker:

Maybe through reviews.

Speaker:

I might reach out in a group and ask other people

Speaker:

what their websites are and I'm going to do that for

Speaker:

an hour.

Speaker:

And then the way I would work,

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tell me what you think about this.

Speaker:

This kind of leads to what I already do is set

Speaker:

the intention of what I will do for the next time

Speaker:

I dedicate I've done this for an hour.

Speaker:

The next time I am picking a platform signing up for

Speaker:

the free version,

Speaker:

because pretty much you can always test things for seven days

Speaker:

and start looking at how you build it.

Speaker:

Something like that.

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Yes. The way you said,

Speaker:

I will pick a platform and sign up for their free

Speaker:

trial because it's a clear result.

Speaker:

So I think that is really helpful too.

Speaker:

Like what is the result you're going to create in that

Speaker:

time? And so you can measure that.

Speaker:

Did I pick a free platform?

Speaker:

Did I sign up?

Speaker:

Am I starting to use it check?

Speaker:

So it's not like I'm just going to work on building

Speaker:

my website.

Speaker:

It's so big and vague.

Speaker:

What's the result.

Speaker:

You're going to create every little time section that you go

Speaker:

into working on it.

Speaker:

Yeah. And that goes all back to defining how to start,

Speaker:

because it's not just starting from the beginning.

Speaker:

It's starting each time you pick up the project and moving

Speaker:

forward. Yes.

Speaker:

And I think it can be helpful for some people to

Speaker:

do that,

Speaker:

like 24 hours in advance,

Speaker:

for sure.

Speaker:

So today maybe look at what you're going to do tomorrow.

Speaker:

And what result are you going to create tomorrow rather than

Speaker:

waiting until the day of,

Speaker:

and trying to figure it out in the moment can actually

Speaker:

feel stressful and harder.

Speaker:

And you're deciding more your feeling brain than your thinking brain.

Speaker:

It can be hard though,

Speaker:

for people to plan it,

Speaker:

say a full week out two weeks out.

Speaker:

I hear that.

Speaker:

Like how do I create my plan for the full week

Speaker:

and know on say Monday,

Speaker:

what I'm going to want to be doing on Thursday or

Speaker:

on Friday for some people it's not a problem for others.

Speaker:

It's really,

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really hard.

Speaker:

I think when the prioritizing area of the brain is more

Speaker:

effected, it can be really hard to know.

Speaker:

And so even if you just do it 24 hours in

Speaker:

advance, that can be helpful just deciding ahead of time.

Speaker:

It doesn't have to be a whole week ahead of time.

Speaker:

If you make a plan,

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that doesn't mean it can't be adjusted based on your new

Speaker:

learning. Yes.

Speaker:

Some rope that brings you from one Whetstone to the next

Speaker:

I'm thinking of crossing a Creek.

Speaker:

Exactly. I love that slippery stone Stuck,

Speaker:

not knowing.

Speaker:

Cause that's the worst time-waster that I find is if I

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don't think about what the next thing is,

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I'm going to do the next day or when I come

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back from lunch to my desk or whatever it is.

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And then I sit there and think,

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okay, now I'm here at work.

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What am I going to do?

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And you think about it for a half an hour.

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Yes. That's when the time just passes by.

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Yeah. Or you go into your email or then you go

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onto Facebook or then you didn't do an Instagram story yet

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today. And then you're just all over the place.

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Yes. Wondering where the time went at the end of the

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day To the website example for a second and thinking about

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getting overwhelmed.

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So if someone ran through this example that we were talking

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about, and obviously we can apply it to anything that anyone

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is encountering,

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but when there are lots of different options,

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we have the tendency to feel like there's one best one.

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How do I find in this big pile of all these

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options, the best one for me.

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And that seems to produce a lot of overwhelm.

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How do you get through that?

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I think one of the tricks is to just decide that

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there's not one right way.

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What if all of the ways were right?

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All of the stones were right.

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There's no wrong choice,

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which would you pick?

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And then choose one and adjust course choose one and adjust

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course. I think it's the thought there's one right choice.

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There's only one right way.

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Yes. That is a thought that keeps us stuck feeling stuck.

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Right? Thoughts create feelings when we think there's only one,

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right. Way only one.

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Right. Option.

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The feeling would create is stuck for many people.

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So pick one.

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I mean,

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that's why you did your research with,

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and again,

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this applies to any topic,

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pick something after you've,

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you know,

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put in some thoughts,

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some research,

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if that's appropriate to whatever you're working on at the time

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and then make a choice and take some out.

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Yes. Because if you were to break it down and ask

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yourself, what is the thing that I'm afraid of will happen?

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What is the worst case scenario?

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The answer would probably be that I choose the wrong thing

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or that I do the wrong thing.

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And that's always optional.

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Like you ever have to make anything that you do wrong.

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You're the only person deciding that.

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Right. And if you choose a platform that doesn't work for

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you, then you've had your seven days,

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you can go to something else.

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You know,

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you see that a platform doesn't have the capabilities of what

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you needed,

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for example.

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Yep. Okay.

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No harm done.

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Now you have that knowledge and you can move forward.

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So before you go test out another platform you can cover

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and ensure that they have what you need,

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things like that.

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Exactly. Winning or learning here,

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either moving closer to accomplishing your goal,

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creating a result,

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or you're learning a lot along the way,

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One of the two right into your quote in the beginning.

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I mean,

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we have to mess up sometimes.

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That's how we learn.

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That's how we get better.

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I would also say that's how we become professional because we've

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put in the experience and now we have the knowledge yes.

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Put in the time,

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I guess.

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And now we have,

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the knowledge would be the way to say that I've heard

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the concept of decision fatigue,

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where we only are able to make a certain number of

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decisions throughout the day.

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And once you hit your limit,

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you really shouldn't be making decisions anymore.

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Have you heard that?

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I have heard that.

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I have.

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Yeah. I think it's maybe more about the energy that we

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spend making decisions.

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So if you can learn to make a decision in a

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way that uses much less mental energy,

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so faster,

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more intentionally having your own back.

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So whatever you decide lining up with it and not really

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beating yourself up or judging yourself for what you decide.

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I think making decisions,

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learning to make decisions in that way uses less mental energy.

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Yeah. So making decisions faster and then sticking with your decision,

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because have you known people who make a decision and you

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think you're moving forward and the next day they come back

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and they're like,

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you know what?

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I don't know.

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You know?

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And then they start the whole process over again and then

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maybe get into like a circle that they can't get out

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of. Merry-go-round they can't get out of a loop of indecision

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loop of indecision.

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I say a merry-go-round you give the professional terms,

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Loop of indecision,

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super professional.

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Totally. It sounds a little more professional than my merry-go-round,

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but that's okay.

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And to your point that there's not one single right decision.

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And because our decision was right for one person,

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maybe it's even somebody who has a business making a product

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similar to you.

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It doesn't mean that it's absolutely the right decision for you

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either. So there's never only one way.

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And none of this,

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luckily is a matter of life or death within our handmade

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businesses. Correct.

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And I think even in any moment,

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right in the present moment,

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it may be the right decision.

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And that's why it's so good to back yourself,

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up with it because a different moment,

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a different decision might be right for you,

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like everything factors in.

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So that's why I think make your decision,

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stick with it,

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move forward.

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Right. And then a decision might be,

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I need to adjust because this wasn't the right option.

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That's also a decision for sure.

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Yeah. I think what we're saying here,

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the common thread through all this conversation is to be intentional

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with your thinking,

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which then is intentional with your actions and then actually follow

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through on your actions.

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And you can always think adjust and change,

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but you keep progressing forward learning from those adjustment points And

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trust yourself.

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I feel like that's a big piece of it.

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Oh, I like that.

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Yeah. Trust yourself.

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And be kind to yourself.

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The majority of people aren't doing,

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what any of us are doing,

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making something,

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presenting it to the world and selling it.

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That's exciting.

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And a little bit scary.

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You're putting yourself out there.

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The majority of people will think about it and never do

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it. So kudos to you for doing it to start with

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and then making adjustments,

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learning and tweaking and becoming smarter and more professional as you

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go. Yeah.

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Be kind to yourself.

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I have one more topic that we have to dive into

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very quickly before we call it.

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And that is your term introverted extrovert.

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I don't think I've ever heard anybody say they're an extrovert,

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but when they do some of the personality tests,

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they're shocked to find that they are or have some portion

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of that in themselves.

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What do you say about this whole term?

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Do you define yourself as an introverted extrovert?

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Yes. A friend and I got in this discussion a few

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years back about this and I get energy by being around

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people and connecting with people and interacting with people.

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So the definition for me of extrovert is someone who gets

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their energy recharges by being in the presence of others.

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And the definition of introvert is people that get their energy

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and recharge by having more like space and quiet time,

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alone time.

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And so using those definitions,

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I feel like I'm on the extroverted end of the scale.

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I really love all the people like talking and meeting people.

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And there's like a little sliver of me,

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like towards the middle of the scale,

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because I also really do enjoy like a quiet walk in

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nature by myself or being on a beach or reading a

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book. So I think that's where I got that introverted extrovert.

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I love it.

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I kind of feel the same way because I like being

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home by myself,

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doing things by myself.

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But I also like being around the children,

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being around my husband,

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definitely out at shows,

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you'll be in surrounded by a lot of people.

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But then I also really like,

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it shows going back to the hotel room in it being

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quiet and just me,

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it's a recharge.

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So I like both too.

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So people aren't really want just one or the other.

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I don't think so,

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but I don't know.

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There are some people maybe that self identify as one or

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the other,

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I guess people fall on all places in the scale.

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I just picked my place and set my marker in it.

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There you go.

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Made it up.

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It's also something that we tell ourselves because I think there

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are also people who tell themselves,

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I'm an introvert.

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There is no way I'm going on.

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Facebook live,

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even though Sue tells me I should be doing this for

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my business.

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So it's things that we tell ourselves and your idea of

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being a little bit of both or being each one at

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different points in our day to like,

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I don't think we have to be so channeled into what

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these terms mean,

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I guess is my point.

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So I loved seeing you saying that together.

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Yeah. That's a good perspective.

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I do think,

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yeah, we can turn it on when we need to.

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Also, there are times I remember like working trade shows at

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one point I was like,

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Oh, today I'm going to be extroverted.

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I'm going to be on the far end of that scale

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for me.

Speaker:

So that's interesting.

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I don't know.

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I like considering all the things and I like that we're

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similar. It makes sense.

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It does.

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Well, we can keep saying,

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yeah, yeah.

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We'll do each other back and forth.

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What would you say to somebody who's listening who is thinking,

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okay, I need to go back and listen to all of

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this and really think of how I can think more intentional

Speaker:

where you just give a little bit of final direction to

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somebody on that.

Speaker:

Yeah. I think it starts with awareness.

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So just being aware of when a big emotion comes up

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or when you're feeling some sort of way be aware of

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what your brain is thinking.

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I don't think we're typically used to doing that.

Speaker:

I think it starts there and then being intentional is really

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choosing how you want to think.

Speaker:

So if you want to continue in that lane that you're

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in, or if you want to choose to think about it

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in a different way.

Speaker:

I think that is what being intentional is like deciding on

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purpose what you want to think.

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And when you want to think it,

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And then taking these steps can help you reduce your stress

Speaker:

level because you're recognizing that this is really something good versus

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the old way of thinking,

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which was giving you a lot of stress and overwhelm,

Speaker:

which I would suggest is going to produce better results for

Speaker:

you. Certainly just with your inner workings as a person in

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your happiness level.

Speaker:

But also I think your output for sure,

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selling more products,

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getting things done,

Speaker:

all of them.

Speaker:

Absolutely. So when you're feeling a more positive emotion,

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the tendency to then create a positive outcome is much greater.

Speaker:

Like your net positive output when you're feeling a positive emotion

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is higher.

Speaker:

Makes sense.

Speaker:

Share with us a little bit,

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Sean, what work you're doing within your coaching?

Speaker:

Yeah. So I do two versions of coaching right now.

Speaker:

I work one-on-one with clients for six months at a time.

Speaker:

It's really a lot of thought work mindset,

Speaker:

work with the awareness around ADHD and how that shows up.

Speaker:

So I think that's kind of something I bring to the

Speaker:

table. And then I also have a group program that reopens

Speaker:

in November where I offer a coaching calls for,

Speaker:

I call it ADHD,

Speaker:

tendency, brains,

Speaker:

creative minds,

Speaker:

basically where they can come and get coached twice a week.

Speaker:

And I talk about 10 minutes each call on a topic

Speaker:

related to neurodiversity.

Speaker:

So you do a little bit of educating and then also

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back and forth group coaching.

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Yes. On those calls.

Speaker:

Yes. Wonderful.

Speaker:

And where can people go?

Speaker:

If they'd like to learn more About you?

Speaker:

They can go to my website.

Speaker:

It's revealed path.com

Speaker:

and I have a button on there.

Speaker:

They can check out my blog or click to book a

Speaker:

consult. I'm happy to talk with them.

Speaker:

Perfect. Thank you so much.

Speaker:

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you getting on

Speaker:

the show today and talking about stress and ADHD,

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which we've never approached before on the show and just sharing

Speaker:

with us.

Speaker:

I mean,

Speaker:

I already feel more comfortable just feeling like I want to

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remember what Sean said when I'm getting to get stressed out,

Speaker:

I'm going to do some intentional thinking.

Speaker:

I'm going to flip the script and everything is going to

Speaker:

be so much better.

Speaker:

So the advice that you've given us has been fabulous today.

Speaker:

Thank you so so much.

Speaker:

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker:

I'm a maker at heart.

Speaker:

I love your community.

Speaker:

Thanks. Take care.

Speaker:

Thanks, bye.

Speaker:

Bye. We all need to remember this.

Speaker:

Our thoughts create our feelings.

Speaker:

I've already written it down on a bright yellow sticky note

Speaker:

displayed on my pen holder so I can be reminded of

Speaker:

it every day.

Speaker:

It's something so powerful and in our control.

Speaker:

Now we just need to take advantage of its potential.

Speaker:

Let's move our sights forward and you guys next week is

Speaker:

Christmas. Can you believe it?

Speaker:

I always want to bring you something super special and lighthearted

Speaker:

for the holiday,

Speaker:

and this is the best I've come up with ever.

Speaker:

I'm not even going to tease you about who it is.

Speaker:

I'm just going to tell you right now,

Speaker:

we have the opportunity to talk with Heidi Swain,

Speaker:

a best selling fictional author,

Speaker:

whose books revolve around stories that fit right in with our

Speaker:

passions of handmade and crafting.

Speaker:

We get a behind the scenes,

Speaker:

look of the life of a writer and gift of all

Speaker:

gifts. She's going to read a section from one of her

Speaker:

holiday stories,

Speaker:

topping it off with her British accent.

Speaker:

It's absolutely magical.

Speaker:

I know you're going to love it as much as I

Speaker:

do. Thanks so much for spending time with me today.

Speaker:

If you'd like to show support for the podcast,

Speaker:

please leave a rating and review.

Speaker:

That means so so much and helps the show get seen

Speaker:

by more makers.

Speaker:

So it's a great way to pay it forward and now

Speaker:

be safe and well work diligently with that hot cup of

Speaker:

cocoa next to you to get out all of your sales

Speaker:

orders. And I'll see you next week on the gift biz

Speaker:

unwrapped. I want to make sure you're familiar with my free

Speaker:

Facebook group called gift is breeze.

Speaker:

It's a place where we all gather and are a community

Speaker:

to support each other.

Speaker:

Got a really fun post in there.

Speaker:

That's my favorite of the week.

Speaker:

I have to say where I invite all of you to

Speaker:

share what you're doing to show pictures of your product,

Speaker:

to show what you're working for the week to get reaction

Speaker:

from other people and just for fun,

Speaker:

because we all get to see the wonderful products that everybody

Speaker:

in the community is making my favorite post every single week,

Speaker:

without doubt.

Speaker:

Wait, what,

Speaker:

aren't you part of the group already,

Speaker:

if not make sure to jump over to Facebook and search

Speaker:

for the group gift biz breeze don't delay.

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