Gift biz unwrapped episode 247 I didn't really think it would

be a part of my business,

but the more I talked about it,

the more people ask me about it.

Attention gifters,

bakers, crafters,

and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.

Whether you have an established business or looking to start one

now you are in the right place.

This is gift to biz unwrapped,

helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.

Join us for an episode packed full of invaluable guidance,

resources, and the support you need to grow your gift biz.

Here is your host gift biz gal,

Sue moon Heights.

Hi there And thanks for joining me here today.

Only a couple of days away from a brand new decade.

I new year feels big enough,

but a new decade.

Whoa, that seems huge.

Have you thought about what comes next for you?

I'm not talking about new year's resolutions,

but the real big life goals you have for yourself.

I'm looking at these next 10 years and thinking there are

going to be some big changes in my life.

My kids are out of college already and live in different

States. California in Colorado to be exact.

My guess is we'll have a couple of weddings in the

next 10 years,

maybe some new little ones running around and possibly a move

to bring us all geographically closer together.

Predictions of course,

but that's what starts the ball rolling right on the business

end. I see changes too.

Mostly extensions of what I've already put in play.

The ribbon print company continues to grow year over year.

Significant double digit growth.

I'm happy to say and on the gift beside our growth

is even bigger these last few months.

The podcast downloads have doubled a lot due to your help

with ratings and reviews and subscribing to the show,

so a huge shout out and thank you for that.

Our email list increases by the day and members into our

community and paid programs also continues to grow.

I didn't start adding a monetization element to gift biz until

about two years ago.

Even though the podcast will hit its five year anniversary in

2020 I'm mentioning these things because I think it's really good

to put things in perspective to look at your life and

business and see how far you've come and give yourself some

grace throughout the journey.

I'll admit to you at times I've been,

what's the right word,

discouraged or anxious about growing gift biz on wrapped faster.

I want to help more people.

I want women to find the fulfillment and the pride of

starting their own business and when I get to be there

to help,

it just fills me up.

So naturally I want to do that more and more.

I need to stop comparing myself to other business coaches who

have been doing this many more years than I have.

I see that I'm being really super hard on myself.

In the beginning when I left corporate and started my first

business, people were stunned that I didn't go into business coaching

then, but I'm glad I didn't.

I know so much more having started and seen success in

my own businesses,

not just coaching others on theirs.

So again,

perspective and keeping your eyes on your own progress is the

best way to look at your life and your business.

And now as we end this decade,

I wanted to do something extra special in the show.

I've been thinking about this for months,

but what should the topic be and who should be the

guest? Maybe I should do a solo show.

I wanted it to be something that you could take and

ways of thinking,

being and doing.

And then one day it came to me like right out

of the blue.

Just came to me,

the perfect guest and topic as we open the door to

a new decade.

Today it is my pleasure to introduce you to Teresa McCoy.

Theresa is the creator of the real life process and ACC

certified coach,

accredited Enneagram professional podcaster and keynote speaker.

Through coaching,

consulting and training.

She serves her clients to move from living with their hair

on fire to discovering practical and sustainable practices and processes to

have a life and a business that's extraordinary.

Partnering together her own signature real life process and tools such

as the Enneagram typology profile,

Theresa guides clients to a fresh new way of intentional living.

Doesn't that sound fabulous?

Going into the new year you guys,

I cannot wait to chat about all of this.

Theresa, welcome to the gift biz on wrapped podcast.

So it's so great to be here with you and how

fun to kick off the new year.

Absolutely. And I think that there are a lot of words

I just said in your intro that our listeners don't understand

yet, but stay tuned you guys because that's exactly what this

show is going to be all about.

And I feel like with the Enneagram,

which we're going to talk about in a minute,

it's kind of a little gift to everybody because they get

a peek into something different about themselves that they might be

able to take into the new year and make some differences.

So I'm excited for that and I don't know a lot

about it either.

Theresa, as I told you in our pre chat.

So it's going to be interesting to dive in.

It's going to be fun.

Yeah. I'm going to be asking all the questions you guys

already are starting to have in your mind,

but before we do that,

even though we're entering into a new year,

I like to stick with tradition and that is all about

the motivational candle Teresa.

So if you were to share with us what you're all

about by way of a motivational candle,

what color would you choose and what would be a quote

that would be on the candle?

Such a great question and I love how it gives insight.

So my color would probably be some shade of teal,

either from deep teal to light teal,

even maybe a gradient candle where it's different color all the

way up.

And then my quote would be a quote that I actually

say at the end of every one of my podcasts,

which is every ordinary day has extraordinary moments.

You just have to look for them,

Love it.

Expand on that a little bit.

Well, part of my journey and creating the real life process

is around this idea that if we live with our hair

on fire,

we're actually missing the things that matter the most in our

life. And they're really wrapped up sometimes in some very special

little moment in our day.

So I love to teach my audience and my clients to

look for those moments that we can pause and say,

that was the moment in the day that was really extraordinary.

When I look back,

I'm thinking that some of these moments are very simple and

free, but they just pass us by if we're not paying

attention. Absolutely.

They're fun things,

right? Like just things that we say,

Oh, wasn't that something funny that just this morning as I

was getting ready to for the podcast,

came into my office and my wreath on the door fell

off and my dog picked it up and took off with

it. And here I am chasing my dog around the yard.

There are moments that you just have to laugh at life

or really sit and notice that that was something special.

Yeah, the sunsets,

the beautiful flowers,

whatever they might be,

and we don't usually pause.

You're so right,

and it is so fulfilling and I think it's energizing as

you move on with some of the other things you have

to do,

but you forget to do it and you still,

you have to just consciously think and remember to do that

throughout your day.

Is that what you're saying?

Absolutely. Just you can get in the habit and the practice,

which I love to help people have rhythms and practices in

their life that stop them from being so driven about productivity

and really looking at what matters in their life.

I want to be present to the great conversations to the

moment that,

yeah, my daughter might call me from college and interrupt my

day, but it's actually a beautiful thing and I can flip

how I look at that rather than,

Oh, that was an annoyance.

Like, no,

that was the moment in the day that was,

You know,

I think as business owners,

especially those,

well, I'm not even going to say those who are starting,

all of us.

We're so focused on what we're trying to build that we

like takes over our whole life oftentimes.

So just like your point with your daughter,

what's really more important,

your relationship with your daughter or getting that one little project

done in your business that you have to pause on for

a moment.

Exactly. So that's my whole message and so much of the

coaching and things I do with entrepreneurs and small business owners

is how do we stay present to the work that we

love? Right?

And I know all of your listeners love the products they're

creating and what they're doing,

but then also not let us consume us to the point

that we forget why we're doing it.

Freedom, lifestyle,

all those things.

And other things aside,

Is that what we're doing?

Sure. Everybody has a different reason,

right? For many of us it is.

We have a passion for what we do for the product

that we're putting out there,

but then it's also to give us some sort of freedom

maybe in our life to spend with those we want to

spend time with.

But somehow that stops happening at some point along the way.

Many times It's true,

and that's the big myth that when you start your own

business, you're going to have all this free time and life

is going to be easier and all of that.

And I think it can be,

but that's why I'm really liking,

and I know we're getting into some deeper conversation right from

the start,

but I really like what your quote was on your candle

because we can consciously get back to that versus the business

taking over in total.

So that alone is just a great concept going into the

new year.

Just like with that.

So we're done Teresa.

I would say too,

so like if we just take that into even we're looking

at a new decade,

right? We're coming into this new decade,

this new season.

It is a mindset shift of now what was it?

Why did I start this business?

Why did I do this?

Why did I want to create this product,

all of these things.

And so it's a good time of year to take the

pause and just really say,

Oh, I want to make sure in my calendar I work

a lot with productivity in my process.

I want to make sure that in my calendar,

and we're going to talk a little bit about the Enneagram.

If we know ourselves well,

we know what motivates us,

we know how we're wired,

we can kind of apply some of that thing into our

everyday ordinary life so we can dive in to some of

that conversation too.

Perfect. Okay,

wonderful. So you and I met a little over a year

ago now,

almost exactly a year,

but a little over a year at this point.

And we started talking maybe some about the Enneagram,

but I really didn't know about it that much at that

time. But let's take it even back a little further.

How did you get into what you're doing today?

Well, the Enneagram as a tool is a tool that I

use in my coaching and consulting business.

And it is a personality tool and I really didn't intend,

as probably many of your listeners did,

even when they started working with products,

I didn't know that it would become such a part of

my business.

And it was a tool that I used personally and helped

me to discover some behavior patterns that I had that I

knew I wanted to shift and change.

And really to grow personally.

There's lots of tools out there.

There's the Colby,

there's the disc,

there's the Myers-Briggs.

I was kind of addicted to those types of personality profiles

and love discovering about myself.

And so the Enneagram became one of those.

But what I loved about it was has a spiritual and

a psychological part to it.

So it really is an invitation to grow and transform in

kind of three centers of intelligence.

We can talk about that more,

but I didn't really think it would be a part of

my business.

But the more I talked about it,

the more people ask me about it.

So it really became a foundational piece of helping people know

their real self,

self awareness,

live their best real life and do their best real work.

So those are kind of my three pillars.

I draw them out in a triangle,

but the Enneagram becomes foundational for me as I work with

clients of just let's discover who you are and how you're

wired a little bit before we dive into building your business

and managing your time and all of those types of things.

Got it.

Okay. So you were Coaching already and then you just saw

from customer reaction that they were really interested in the different

level that the Enneagram provided and then you decided,

okay, well I'm going to incorporate this more and more in

how I work with my clients.

Right. It was a personal tool I'd been using for years.

For yourself.

Yes, and then when I started my business,

I'm like,

I kept sharing it with clients and so I just developed

it out.

Now I actually train people even how to use the Enneagram

in their business as coaches and consultants.

So it's really evolved into a lot of things over the

last five or six years.

Love it.

And the thing I liked the most about it,

even before we start talking about that is how you were

listening to your clients and following through with what they were

asking you for.

And I think that's part of any business,

right? We just continue to evolve and pivot to what our

clients are asking,

But we seem to be so tunnel focused sometimes like we

are sure we are knowing and I say also you guys

give biz listeners,

like if you have a certain product that is your new

product that you love and people aren't buying it,

you need to be watching what customers are really interested in.

We get so close to what we're doing sometimes that we're

not recognizing it.

So Theresa,

that's what I'm loving about.

Just what we've talked about so far is you are really

tuned into your client and kind of letting them take you

where they felt they needed to go,

but then with your professional overlay of the Enneagram.

Yeah, that's a great point.

What about the real life process?

Now this is your own framework,

right? That you've created?

It is and it's a framework really to help people move

through developing out their business.

So it has four steps in the process and it is

giving those people that 10,000

foot view,

where are you at right now?

We use the Enneagram as part of that.

We call it the real life view.

What's your mission?

What are the areas of focus in your life?

And I go through a process with people to help really

get that 10,000

foot view life and business because you and I both know

as entrepreneurs who own small businesses,

you really can't separate the two.

One affects the other.

And I saw so many of my clients again very tunnel

vision of work became like what overtook their life as they

started an entrepreneurial business.

And it's really both.

So we are living a real life.

So how do we do this in our real life?

How do we build these businesses?

So self awareness is key,

I believe.

So that's first step.

Then we go into,

I love breaking things down into 90 day projects.

So even as we're coming into the new year,

right? It's like what do I want to work on in

the next 90 days?

What's going to move my business forward?

What are something in my personal life?

So I help people project those things out,

get some action steps.

Then we move into getting it onto your calendar,

real practical.

And then my last step is called real life living.

And here's where I think it's important for entrepreneurs.

Again, going back to how we're wired and business owners is

how do you take a day off?

How do you know what you like to do for a

hobby that's outside?

So this really approach of full circle,

holistic living,

I'm not overtaken by my business.

So I call that real life living and we learned to

identify what those things are so that we're having a holistic,

real life head,

heart, gut,

which is part of the Enneagram.

Yeah. And you know,

I think that as a business owner too,

especially when you get started,

everything is about your business.

Heaven forbid someone wants to go out to dinner with you

at night or like much less take a weekend away,

things like that.

You just don't do.

And I think maybe it's as we get older,

you see more and more what's going on.

You have to enjoy and appreciate the journey as well.

So when you're talking about real life living and balancing all

of that,

I think that's so important.

It shouldn't always be like,

well, when I get to this point,

then I can do.

You need to be able to incorporate it into the process

all the way along.

I needed you when I first started my businesses,

Theresa, well,

so much of it is and that's what I love to

work with new business owners because if we can develop some

of these,

and that's why I say practices and processes,

it is teaching ourselves how to practice.

It's almost becomes rituals,

routines, things that we build in that then become sustainable.

Because how many of us and you and I've been around

in these types of businesses for a while.

We see somebody on fire,

they're killing it for the first year,

18 months,

two years,

and then they're gone like they burn out.

And so I hate seeing people do that,

especially when they're passionate about a product or something that they're

developing or a service.

And so if we can kind of,

like you said,

which we didn't own all this early,

right? Right.

If we can implement some of these things early on through

good self-awareness,

like tools like the Enneagram,

then put in sustainable practices,

routines, systems,

90 day processes,

it really can be done longterm to grow these businesses.

We want them to go what was our original vision and

passion. Yeah.

And hopefully also to grow them and enjoy the process along

the way.

I think we get so stressed out because we aren't at

a certain level.

We're not sure if we're doing it right.

It's overtaking our lives,

all of that.

What about just the idea of growing and building and creating

something and having fun with it along the way?

Exactly. Enjoying the journey,

right. Not the destination.

When I there,

then I'll take a month vacation and like,

let's see how we can do that now.

Like how would it look to be out of your business

for a week?

And so those are the types of things that I love

to do with the real life process.

Oh yay.

I'm excited.

I'm excited to start talking about this some more.

Okay. And give biz listeners,

I bet you can relate to all of what we've been

talking about.

So, alright,

let's talk about the Enneagram.

I'm not sure exactly where you want to start,

but let's pretend like this is a brand new word to

everybody and let's start from the very beginning about what it

is and all that.

We're going to take a break right now to hear from

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Sure. So the word Enneagram really just means Gramm means drawing.

Ennea means nine.

So it's a drawing of nine different numbers around a circle.

So if our listeners will envision a circle,

there's nine numbers around it,

and each of these nine numbers represent a different personality type.

The tool itself of the Enneagram is a very ancient tool.

It goes back farther than their personality profile and it really

wasn't even originally a profile.

It was more of a tool that was used in all

types of places,

some very spiritual places,

some very psychological places just for discovery and awareness.

So it's both psychological and spiritual.

Would you say that this predates than any of the other,

they're like Myers-Briggs and all of that?

Oh, absolutely.

Okay. All of those really come from a psychological place.

The tool of the Enneagram really wasn't even drawn into a

drawing or done as a profile.

Like now we can do it in online profiles and that

type of thing until probably the late sixties early seventies but

yet it goes back.

You see it in all types of ancient religions and ancient

places in different ways.

Not exactly the same,

but you see hints of it in different ways.

So it was a tool that was really passed on kind

of verbally for a very long time.

And then in the early seventies some psychologist and some religious

teachers kind of formed it together to come up with what

we now know as the tool of the Enneagram.

And I often refer to it as a tool instead of

a profile because many profiles that we take,

like you said,

disc, Myers-Briggs,

those types of things,

Colby, they tell us something and then we're like,

okay, that's great information.

I have that now I'm going to put that on the

shelf and I'm really not going to use it in my

life. The Enneagram really invites us to what I call personal

growth and we can talk more about that,

but each of these types kind of fall into what we

call three centers of intelligence,

and I think when people hear this,

they really go,

Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

So three of the numbers fall in what we call the

heart center.

We're hearing a lot in the world right now about emotional

intelligence. It's a hot topic by corporate levels in small businesses.

What is your EEQ people say?

So three of the types come from what we call the

heart center.

Three of the types are very driven in what we call

the head center.

So I Q and three of the types have a drive

that's in what I call the guts center,

that instinctual knowing.

So here's a simple way to describe it,

Sue, that the listeners might appreciate.

When you listen to someone talk many times they'll say,

well, you know,

this is how I feel.

And other people will say,

well, you know,

I know this is how we should do that.

And other people will say,

well, you know,

I think so.

Do you hear the three differences?

Yeah. And it's,

if you think of a pair of glasses that a person

puts on,

it's like the lens through which they see the world.

Some people see it through their heart,

some people see it through their head,

they're thinking,

and some people see it through almost an instinctual gut knowing

we've all heard that phrase.

Right. You know,

I feel it in my gut.

I don't know.

I just know.

And so we all have a little bit of each of

those, but most of us early on in the way our

ego structure developed,

learned that one of them worked well for us and stronger

for us than the other two.

And so we learn what our type is.

We can do a profile online.

I offer those out to my clients as a service and

have a conversation with someone about it.

If you would like to explore it more.

Or you can take different profiles online,

you can read a book about it.

There's all kinds of ways to discover your Enneagram type and

find out which of those nine you are.

But I bet for most of your listeners and even use,

so if I said,

what do you normally say?

You would be able to tell me.

I say,

I think I feel,

or I know.

So I'll ask you the question.

Sue, what do you normally say?

I think I would say I think,

isn't that funny how we just from the heart center?

Yeah. So I say,

I feel you say you feel,

okay. So let me tell you my exposure to the Instagram.

Sure. I was just going to say,

I think again,

so now I'm like really watching my words,

but I found out about it from a mastermind I was

at. I'd never heard about it before.

And everyone's like,

you don't know about the Enneagram.

I'm like,

no. And so I went online and I took the test

and I want to say it's like a hundred and something

questions, Depending on which one you take.

There's lots of profiles out there by lots of different Enneagram

teachers. So you'll find profiles that are 200 questions.

You'll find a hundred you'll find some little freebies out there

that are like 10 questions.

I don't always feel like those are as accurate.

Do you think you'd get different results based on the one

you took?

You can and that depends on,

that's why I as a coach,

love to have a conversation with someone after they take their

profile because it's a pretty deep conversation to say,

you know,

we're getting into some pretty deep things when we talk about

how your ego was formed.

I love online profiles.

I use one myself with my clients,

but I still think it's worth exploring with someone who knows

the tool of the Enneagram.

It's not a counseling session,

it's really just a review of the conversation.

So I do see a lot of people that get mistyped

so to speak.

Okay, so just for the sake of our listeners,

is there a certain place you would go if people were

interested? One that you feel is a good one to use?

Because I'm thinking we're peaking people's curiosity now and people are

going to want to know what am I,

what number am I exactly.

Well, of course I'd love to send them to my website

and I have an online profile that people can take and

then do an hour long consultation with me.

So that is one that I would recommend.

So that's just at my website on the work with me

page. But anything by dr Jerome Wagner is a great one.

I can give you that link and put it in the

show notes.

Okay, perfect.

It's one of the most respected ones that I would recommend

out there in Cron is also another Enneagram teacher.

He wrote the book the road back to you and I

think he has an online profile as well.

It's a little pricier than some are.

So depends kind of on what you want to invest.

Usually if it's free,

you get what you pay for.

So I wouldn't always recommend some of the free ones that

are out there,

but I'd be glad to work with anybody who is interested

in discovering their type.

All right,

so we were talking about that.

I said I think,

right? Do you want to know what my number is to

see if it correlates?

I would love to.

Okay. I am a number three.

Ah, that's interesting.

Does that make sense?

Actually the three is in the heart space,

so it's interesting that you verbally say I think,

but a type three that's actually what I am as well,

so, Ooh,

and that doesn't surprise me that you would be a type

three. The fact that you are an entrepreneur,

that you enjoy a business and running a business.

Would you like for me to tell what each of the

types are?

I was hoping we would get there.

Yes, yes,

yes, yes,

yes. Yeah.

So let's go through each of the types,

because I think for the,

your listeners,

many of them might be able to identify and begin to

explore just from hearing the types.

So the type one,

the perfectionist.

So they are driven by helping things get to that best

way of doing things.

I call them the good person.

They want things to be good.

They see the world through goodness,

what is good in the world.

And you'll hear that even in their language.

All that so good.

Oh I love that.

That's so good.

So that's the type one.

They're the perfectionist.

Now automatically when we go through these types,

you'll hear,

wow, that could get really out of hand.

You know,

if I go so far to perfectionism,

I might not ever take my products to market,

right? Cause it has to be perfect.

So that's the struggle.

And the invitation for the type one is to let go

of perfectionism.

The type two is the helper.

They're always going to see the needs of others and how

they can help.

They sit in the beginning of our heart center is type

two I call them the loving person.

What they bring to the world is love.

They see through their lens and through their glasses love.

But again,

if it's over go,

they many times have a hard time saying no.

It's about everyone else.

They forget about their own needs.

So that's the type too.

You and I,

it sounds like might set in what's called the type three.

The type three is often called the performer.

Now, I don't always love that word.

I don't know if that resonates with you or not,

but I'm like,

Oh, I don't want to be seen as a performer.

But what we really bring to the world is effectiveness and

efficiency. So that type three many times sees systems and processes.

Again, many times why we can be good business owners is

we see things in a team perspective.

We're natural leaders,

but at our worst,

if we go over to that performance mode,

we always want to appear like we're successful and we kind

of have a fear of failure.

So that's the three and how they operate.

The four is what we many times called the romantic or

the original person.

They have really deep feelings and emotions.

They're very,

very creative and many times we think of them as musicians

or artists or that type of thing.

The type four really wants to be seen as original.

So I often laugh,

you know,

they might have the colored hair,

which I have,

I have a lot of foreign me,

but they just do things that are original.

So many of your listeners,

because I know a lot of your listeners develop products are

very creative.

They may have a lot of four in them.

A lot of this originality,

how can I create something that's unique and different?

But again,

they can get so stuck in that needing to feel original

and special that their emotions can get the best of them.

So they sit in that heart space too.

That two threes and fours and so their emotions can get

the best of them.

Yeah. I agree with you that I think a lot of

our listeners are probably going to resonate with the romantic for

sure. Yes.

Because they have that creative bend.

Yeah. And that brings up the challenges of no one else

can make my product as good as I can,

which limits growth or so afraid to even show the product

for fear that people aren't going to be interested in.

Won't buy it.

Oh that is so true.

Yeah. Two ways I could see really that playing out if

you guys are resonating with number four the romantic exactly.

Didn't mean to stop you midstream,

but this one I think for sure.

No, that is so true though.

I think that resonates so much.

And so for each of these types,

from a business perspective,

there's a place that each of these types can get caught

and that's the invitation to growth cause we can get caught

in that.

So, for example,

the type five we're moving into the head center.

Now, this intellectual center,

the five,

six and seven.

The type five is an information gatherer.

They are the investigators.

So they bring wisdom to the world.

They bring that light of bringing wisdom.

But what happens is they can get stuck in research mode.

So think of this in product development,

right? Well I need to know all the facts.

I need to know how this is going together,

how are we going to manufacture it?

I need to get all my steps and processes in place

so they can get stuck in research and never take something

to market,

so to speak.

And they have a lot of knowledge and information cause they're

in their head.

But it's almost like the hamster gets on the wheel and

the fear can hold them back.

So that's our type five B investigator.

So then our type six,

so is what we call the loyalist.

And again,

loyalty is a great thing,

right? They're team players,

they're amazing at working together with others because they have this

loyalty and devotion.

But what can happen is they forget to bring their own

ideas to the table and they forget to speak up and

use their voice.

And so at their extreme,

so if you think about it,

I call it authentic and adaptive,

we have our authentic side,

which is kind of our type at its best.

And then we have this adaptive side where on our worst

day, this is kind of where we go to,

right? So the five,

six and seven go into their head,

they get spinning like that hamster on the wheel.

It comes from fear.

So five,

six and sevens really relate to fear and safety.

And do I have enough information?

Do I have enough connection to people?

And so our type sevens,

which are so much fun,

we call them the enthusiast,

they're the joyful people.

Everybody will loves to hang out with a seven.

They always see the positive poly people in the world.

But what can happen with the seven is they're always looking

for the next adventure.

And the next thing I work with so many seven.

So some of your audience,

some of our listeners may really relate to this too,

because there's always the next new idea,

the next new product I could make.

And so they jumped from one thing to the next.

It's kind of like I want the buffet of life and

I want to do a little this and a little of

that. So I work with a lot of sevens in the

work that I do as a coach because it's helping them

stay on track and not jump onto the next thing to

say with something longterm to create some practices and processes in

their life that will help them longterm.

And then we move into that body center that we started

with. We have the eight,

which is called the powerful person.

They are the people that come into the room and kind

of, okay,

who has the power in the room?

I want it,

or I can take it.

They make decisions very quickly and we sometimes call them the

challenger because we almost feel like they're challenging everything,

but they're doing it because they want to make everything better.

They just have a gut.

Knowing we're in this body center,

they have a gut knowing that this would be the better

way and they really work forward motion in that forward energy.

Eights are amazing leaders.

They're really powerful.

They can challenge us to be a better version of ourselves.

And then the type nine which if we were drawing this

around in a circle,

the nine is at the top and then we go one,

two, three,

four, five,

six, seven,

eight, clockwise.

The nine sets at the top as the peaceful person and

they bring peace into the world.

They shine their light with peace and they see everything through,

how can I make this a peaceful,

calm situation?

Now what can happen right for a type nine is they

don't love to do conflict.

So anytime that there's conflict,

they might shy away from it.

And so you think about that in making decisions in your

business or if you have a team and you're actually the

leader and then someone else speaks up and you're like,

Oh, I don't want to go up against them even though

this is my business.

You can see where the growth of knowing where you go

in your adaptive side can really help you as a business

owner, as an entrepreneur.

So those are the nine types.

Yeah. So I could just see,

and I'm sure you'll agree with me on this,

that there's no right or wrong,

there's no better,

no more than another.

But what it allows you to do is understand who naturally

you are,

what your makeup is,

and then be more aware of where you can kind of

go off track.

To your point with each of these,

how you were saying,

you know,

this is how it could be more challenging or things you

need to watch for if you're a certain number.

So just having that knowledge and being equipped with that moving

forward is so valuable.

It is.

And many people will ask me,

well how did we get way like what made us this

way? And we won't go deep into it cause it's some

deep discussion,

but this is a simple way.

So we just develop these strategies early in life and they

come through,

I mean a third of it really comes through nature.

It's our genes.

This is how we were born with our genes.

Third of through nurture,

how we were nurtured in our life through parents and grandparents

and aunts and uncles and coaches and all of these people

that spoke into our lives in our early years and into

early adulthood.

And then a third of it is really some freewill choices

that we make along the way.

All three of those things come together to kind of form

these patterns of behavior and many times we're living anywhere on

that scale from very adaptive behaviors that almost feel unhealthy to

very authentic behaviors.

And throughout a day something can happen that can trigger,

right? Our adaptive behavior,

for example,

for me as a type three a three the heart center

is really seeking approval.

So if I get an email from somebody that's like,

this didn't work for me,

whatever, I wasn't able to purchase the product.

I feel like I failed.

Like I let them down and I can automatically go to

being down on myself and I should have known that I

should have done,

you know what I'm saying?

And so we played this tape in our head depending on

our type,

that can start to play in our head.

And so if I can bring awareness and go,

that's not who I am.

I know that that's not me.

That's a false belief that I'm giving myself right now.

So it's a lot of mindset about growing in our mindset

to a different place of knowing,

but no type is better than another.

They're just all different lenses,

different glasses that we put on and how we see the

world and a different message.

Yeah. And I think to your point,

just now,

you know the self talk that you give yourself,

if you understand where these thoughts are coming from,

that you're conjuring up in your mind and you can understand,

well that's because I'm a three or two or however it

got you,

however you acquired it.

I think you give yourself more grace,

but then you also know what to do about it.

You understand where the source came and you understand how to

counter that thought or say,

well, that's not really true,

but I get why I think that way because I'm whatever

I am.

That kind of thing.

And the word that I hear so many people use soon

as they discover the Enneagram is it gives me empathy,

empathy for myself to go,

okay, that's a false belief.

Or that's a false statement.

That is not who I am.

That is me spinning in my head or feeling in my

heart or knowing in my gut something that's not true.

And so I can shift that mindset.

That's where the Enneagram becomes a tool that's a little bit

different than some other personality tools because we're really learning to

recognize things and do it differently.

So I don't need to believe that about me.

So I think that is the word I hear.

The other part that I think is interesting with the Enneagram,

and I know some of your listeners have maybe two or

three people that work on their team and work for either

when brick and mortar or help develop product or manufacturer or

whatever. I think that word empathy is helpful too because as

I see teams understand the Enneagram together,

I now know your type and I can go as a

type nine.

I know that you naturally would want to avoid the conflict.

So now that I know that about you,

I can come to you in a different way and invite

you into a conversation that might be difficult for you.

Instead of going,

why are you avoiding talking about this and being judgmental.

So that's the other place that it can invite this empathy

is through,

whether it's in your marriage,

with your coworkers,

whatever it might be,

your adult children,

the understanding of one another and giving that empathy to each

other. I love the empathy for others,

which was your last explanation.

And I think that's what we always think of when we

think of empathy,

but how often do we really think of empathy for ourself?

Rarely if ever.

So. And then combining the two together is more powerful yet.

No, it just gives a common language.

So I find that as I work with teams,

many small business owners that I work with,

Oh this is so helpful for me.

Now I want to bring it to my team or to

my coworker or my business partner because then I have a

better understanding of who they are and yeah,

I'm not thinking,

Oh well they're just trying to get on my nerves,

you know?

Now that is how they see the world and it's different

than how I see the world.

Right. Okay.

So I have a question for you and this is going

to be personal because that's the only example I have is

my own.

So I took the test and I was a three but

I also really can relate to the seven.

Everyone tells me how positive I am.

Sometimes over positive I have to like back it up because

it gets a little irritating probably.

Cause I'm always looking at the good and things and I've

learned that lately I have to do that.

So can you have two that are almost equal with each

other or is one always the dominant or can you even

have more than two?

Well, it doesn't surprise me that you relate pretty heavily with

the seven and I haven't seen like your profile or any

of that.

We're just diving into this from a conversation point,

but the seven and the three and the eight have a

similar, what I call energy.

All three of them are very forward moving.

So there are types that are going to come into a

situation and be more of that take charge positive.

Let's put this together,

type a personalities.

And so there would be some questions if we were working

together that I would want to explore with you so of,

because you told me that you say,

I think first and because you're telling me that you really

resonate with the seven that may be your more dominant personality

style. Even though on the test that you took,

and I don't know which one it was,

but on the test that you took,

you came out as a three depending on how the questions

were asked.

And this and that and the that may have felt like

the best option.

But when you're telling me you say I think a lot

and that you really resonate with that positive energy of the

seven and the description of the seven,

it's very possible that that may be your dominant type.

So we'd have to do more exploration with that.

We may just have to talk further because now I feel

like I have to know cause I also,

the efficiency and effectiveness is totally me.

And when you talk about how,

and I'm just bringing myself up you guys just as an

example of how a conversation might go and how you could

get into learning and understanding more about yourself and what drives

you and all of that.

But I also want to know for me since I have

you here Teresa,

but one of the things that I know I'm bad at

is I create material.

I create programs.

I wrote a book,

I do presentations,

like I do all of these things and I'm a good

completer. Okay,

I'm a follow through,

but then I'm done and I want to move on to

the next creation.

Like I want to work with the next group of people

or I want to create the next whatever it is.

And I never Mark it the stuff I have,

that's my problem.

So that's where I stop and my assistant Lori is like,

Sue, you have a trade show coming up.

How about you putting something out there about that new plan

or you have?

And I'm like,

Oh yeah,

that's a good idea.

Versus like,

okay, doesn't everybody just instantly know that that's there,

you know?

And so that has characteristics of both the three and the

seven. So could I ask you a question?

Would you be okay with your audience?

Yeah, I'm in a total open book.

I am so open.

Yeah, You're an open book.

I can tell you are.

So this'll be interesting for the listeners because they can follow

along asking their own question.

If you were to say what tape plays in your head,

would it be the tape of I won't have enough or

would it be the tape of I'm not enough and I

need to prove I'm enough?

What's the first one?

I won't have enough.

Like almost a scarcity mindset.

Okay. No,

but I'm not sure it's the other either So I won't

have enough.

It's not scarcity.

It's not that one.

Okay. Or is it more I'm not enough.

I need to prove that I'm enough.

If I had to pick the two,

I would pick the second one.

Okay. The second one is that type three or the heart

center. The people in the heart center are more geared to

the narrative and the fixation of I'm not enough.

I need to prove it.

So it's from this approval standpoint that the heart center operates.

The head center,

which was,

you were referring back to your type seven comes more from

the fixation for security and survival and that won't have enough.

So I won't have enough fun.

I won't have enough adventure.

I'm afraid I'm going to,

you know,

we talk about FOBO,

I'm afraid.

I'm gonna miss out.

That's kind of where that type seven comes from.

The type three is really coming from more,

I'm success oriented,

I'm wired and I'm motivated by a need to be successful

and it comes more from that.

I don't want to fail,

I want the approval of others.

So there's some deep things to sit with when you sit

with the Enneagram because we kind of have to look back

at our story a little bit and think,

okay, you know,

how was I as a child?

What did I seek,

what did I want?

And so we're looking back a little bit too as we

carry it forward and kind of move past it to now

I'm healthy,

I'm whole,

I'm living in my fullest self.

So that's the difference between kind of a head in the

heart. Okay.

Yeah, I'm definitely more the three.

You and I are going to be talking Teresa for sure.

Yeah, the little bit I know of you and a little

bit we've spent together.

I see more of the three,

but I understand what you say about,

and many of your listeners probably relate to.

I start stuff and then I kind of get bored with

it and I'm moving on to the next thing.

The type three does some of that as well because some

of it is rooted in,

if I put it out there in the world,

what if people don't like it?

So I created it.

But what if I put it out there and people don't

like it?

So I'll just kind of like move on to the next

thing. And so it feels like we don't really finish things,

but we just love inventing the next thing,

coming up with the next idea.

So that's part of how we're wired.

Well that's also kind of the four,

right? The romantic.

It is,

yeah. That's that heart space.

They both have that going on.

So like I said,

it's a deep tool.

I definitely want to talk to you about this,

but I'm not just to circle it back.

I am less worried about whether people are going to like

it. Like I'm even the podcast.

I know that we put out good content and it fills

me so much when I hear people tell me that they

listened to the show,

that it's helped them.

Sometimes people will leave a review.

Of course not as often as I like.

As podcasters,

we all want reviews.

Right? I'd like it just because it makes me feel like,

okay, the time and the energy I'm putting in is worth

it, but I'm never afraid of putting something out that people

are going to hate or not like.

I don't know why.

I'm just like,

there'll be people who will like it though.

People who won't and that's fine,

but if it helps some people,

I'm good And that's more of a type three.

That really is because threes have a natural confidence.

I mean we have a natural confidence that is,

I'm putting it out there.

I'm creating,

I'm putting my products,

my services,

my voice forward.

I know it's not going to resonate with everyone.

That's a pretty healthy three.

I mean that isn't living in that I need the approval.

So I'm not saying we're always driven by that because as

we moved to being healthy in our type,

as we move to our authentic type,

we really are healthy people that are saying,

here it is.

I'm putting it out here.

Threes don't always have the vest follow through though because we're

visionaries. So many of you may have heard the term like

visionaries and integrators and those types of things.

In the business context,

threes are pretty visionary.

We're pretty like onto the next thing.

Somebody else can handle the details and make it come to

life. And so that's something good to know as a business

owner, as you're creating a product,

if you're the creative mind that creates it.

Having someone on your team that then you talked about your

assistant. I have one to thank God for assistance and people

on our teams that do the follow through.

Right. And you know,

it's the same way with my other company.

I'm not doing customer service anymore.

I'm not filling orders anymore.

They're doing all of that.

But I am negotiating the larger accounts,

that kind of thing.

So I think by nature intuitively I've put myself in the

right position except I need to market my products more.

I need to tell people what's available,

which I don't do.

I can follow through just fine on the creation part,

but then I'm like done cause then I already have something

else I want to do.

So interesting.

Interesting, interesting.

Yeah. Gift as listeners.

I hope that didn't bore you,

but it's just,

it's a perfect example of how you can take this information

related to yourself and extend the conversation and certainly Theresa,

with all of your knowledge and guiding and insight into all

of these,

this has been really valuable just for me to understand a

little bit more and I want to know more.

So like I said a couple of times,

we'll talk about that later.

So circling this back for our listeners and just kind of

summarizing everything,

if we've peaked people's interest about this,

a couple of options we'll put in the show notes,

a link where people can see what their Enneagram is remembering

that you get what you pay for,

but I think there are tools out there that don't cost

a lot that you could at least find and just get

some good information.

Absolutely, And I don't remember whether I paid for my followup

form. Your how.

Sometimes you'll fill out a questionnaire,

you'll get your result,

but then if you want to know what it means,

then you have to pay $20 or something like that.

I don't know if that's the way some of these are

connected and I really haven't paid attention to it other than

getting my number at one point.

But back to my question for you,

Theresa, if someone's more interested in this,

again, how would you guide them to move forward?

Sure. Well they can connect with me if they'd like@thereallifeprocess.com

and it's T,

H, E R,

E. A.

L. I.

F. E.

So only one L in real life.

It's all one word,

the real life process.com

or they can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn at Teresa

McCloy and both of those places.

That's kind of where I hang out a little bit on

Instagram, but more on Facebook and LinkedIn.

And then at my website,

and I will say this too,

we talked about it being the new year,

so this may be a tool or some things that you

want to incorporate as you go into this new year.

Just as you're working in your product business and what you're

developing of seeing,

like how am I going to my own personal growth this

year? And it may be through something like a tool like

the Enneagram.

How long once you take the test and start looking at

it and understanding and analyzing,

how long from your experience does it take to make some

type of a change?

Oh, I think it just depends on how much people want

to bring it to awareness.

I mean,

I usually in a review session that I do with people,

there's a lot of ahas that come in that very hour

long review session that they're like,

Oh my gosh,

that's something I can apply to my business right away.

But as you use the Enneagram in your real life,

it comes into every situation,

whether it's conversations,

decision-making, selling product,

you think how you apply.

If I can listen to a client and know whether they

think, feel or know something,

I know how I'm gonna approach them and sales.

So it's actually something that once you get it and it

clicks, you use it in your real life all the time.

So it's not a stretch to say portions of it could

be used almost immediately and it can be a game changer

for you in your personal life and your business.

Absolutely. I think any time we work on our own self

development and self-awareness,

we're going to see results short term,

immediate, and then over the longterm,

we might look back a year from now and say,

Oh my gosh,

that was so helpful for me to know that information.

Wonderful. Theresa and so now share with me what you're looking

at for your future.

Where do you see yourself going with the real life process?

Oh, that's such a great question.

Say thanks so much.

we're gonna be doing a lot of in-person retreats.

We actually have three of them scheduled next year and our

first one starting in February.

And the reason why is I have learned through my own

self awareness and personal development that I love to be with

people in person as a heart type,

as a type three and you and I talked about this

offline right before we started.

There is nothing better than being with people in person.

I love the virtual world,

but love to meet people face to face.

So we're planning on creating those events for people to come

together, learn the real life process in a retreat setting,

in a 48 hour process and work with the tool of

the Enneagram there too.

And then be able to go out and live it in

their lives and apply those practices.

It's sustainable.

Oh, so you're not talking about just for a local community,

but people can come in like an event,

like a weekend event.

Absolutely. It'll be a weekend retreat event that people can come

to learn the real life process,

learn the tool of the Enneagram in a 48 hour setting

and then go out and apply what they've learned.

We have found that in person when you can really do

the deep dive and kind of get away and get out

of your business.

That's really been effective.

We did one last year and we just loved it.

Is the first one on the books yet on the calendar?

Yes, it is on in February.

So it'll here in the State of Illinois,

joy February in Illinois.

It is fun.

I promise.

And we will be doing that so people check it out

on the website.

They'll be able to find it.

There it is.

The weekend of,

I'm looking at my calendar,

the 21st 22nd and 23rd so Friday night through Sunday night.

So anybody in your audience that wants to come join us

at the robotic process retreats,

we'd love to have you.

That is fabulous.

Well, thank you,

Teresa. I am a little bit embarrassed that we were able

to talk so much about me.

I feel like I hogged our show a little bit today,

so I apologize if anyone else feels that way,

but I also do think it's a great example of the

way you can incorporate and start to think about some of

this information.

So interesting.

I understand so much more about the Enneagram and I'm excited

For all of you listeners,

if you're interested,

find out what you are and see what that does for

you. Make comment on the podcast episode if you want,

But it sounds like this could be a great way to

even saying that.

I know.

That is so strange.

I'm trying to get used to it.

I know when you said new decade,

I'm like,

Whoa, Whoa,

Whoa, Whoa.

Yeah, I know.

I'm not thinking that way either.

But anyway,

Theresa, thank you so much.

Such great information.

I love that we covered all nine of them because people

can start to gravitate into what they are plus by how

naturally, what is it?

I think I feel,

I think I feel,

I know,

I know.

Yeah, so right there you can kind of get some insights,

so I think everybody listening already is kind of narrowing in

on who they are.

That's awesome and a wonderful gift that you've given us as

we enter into the new year.

Thanks again.

Thank you so much.

So it's been great to be with you.

I have an update since my chat with Theresa.

I've retaken the Enneagram and confirmed that I'm a solid three.

I also have noticed now that I say feel way more

than I say,

think something I'd never identified before.

I also spent an hour with Teresa talking about my Enneagram

results. Oh my gosh.

It was so incredible.

The things I learned about myself and why I am who

I am and act as I do.

So insightful reflections and discussions on things I've never thought about

ever. I got off our call feeling like I understood myself

so much more.

We also overlayed some of this new understanding on top of

how I do business,

so now I'm tossing around some new ideas and I'm pretty

sure I'm going to make some adjustments with some of the

challenges that I've had with the business based on now my

new acquired information.

I really encourage you to take the Enneagram because I truly

believe you'll learn some new things about yourself too.

It's funny how that can happen because haven't known yourself your

whole life.

As we close out today,

I wish you a happy,

safe and fun-filled new year celebration and I'll see you again

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