312 – Why Do You Hold Yourself Back? with Petia Kolibova

Gift biz unwrapped episode 312.

I think it all starts with relationship with South.

How do you feel about yourself?

How do you treat yourself?

Because that is going to reflect in all of the relationships

around you.

Attention gifters bakers,

crafters, and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.

Whether you have an established business or looking to start one.

Now you are in the right place.

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helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.

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packed full of invaluable guidance,

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Your gift biz.

Here is your host gift biz gal,

Sue moon Heights.

Hi there.

And I'm so happy that you're joining me here today.

This is going to be the final reminder that I'm going

to give everybody about grabbing a spot at the at home

craft and gift show.

Now, if you're new to the podcast and you haven't heard

me talking about this yet,

the at-home craft and gift show is a virtual shopping show.

That gives you the opportunity to show your product to a

national consumer audience.

It's coming up in just a couple of weeks,

starting April 14th.

If you want to hear more about it,

jump back to episode 304.

That's where I talked to Robert who's one of the owners

of at-home events.

We talk about virtual shows in general,

which is great information because Mark my words,

we're going to see more and more of these popping up,

but we also specifically talk about the show that I'm sponsoring

the at-home craft and gift show.

Since I go into detail there,

I'm not going to repeat it all here other than saying,

I really want you to look at and consider this show

for selling your product.

You don't need to worry about being prepared,

even if it's your first show,

because there's so much support to walk you through putting your

booth together in a very short amount of time and being

fully prepared for the show.

Go to gift biz,

unwrapped.com forward slash at home booth to check it all out

and register,

and then make sure to enter gift biz 10 as a

code to get an extra 10% off your booth.

If you're a first time exhibitor for today's show,

I'm starting out with a little bit of a warning.

No, you don't have to get the kids out of the

room or anything like that,

but we are going to get a little quote,

unquote, woo spiritual.

If you will,

law of attraction kind of stuff.

I've mentioned from time to time that I've seen for myself,

the results that come from putting an intention out into the

world. For me,

it's undeniable that our energy plays a role in the opportunities

that come our way.

My guest will tell you that the universe always says,

yes, think about this.

The universe always says,

yes, if that's the case,

what are you putting out into the universe that it is

saying yes to if it's negative defeatist or I'm not good

enough thoughts,

the no wonder you aren't seeing the results in your business

or living the life that you want.

Let's investigate this idea some more and talk about how you

can link arms with the universe to make some very welcome

changes today.

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Petia coli Bova

Patea is a transformational coach who helps women who have been

pushed down and have been playing small,

create a life that is true to them.

And their sole purpose.

Her mission is to help women who are on the path

to healing from toxic relationships or unhealed childhood trauma.

She helps them move through their limiting beliefs and internal blocks

so they can take action on what they want to do

and what feels good to them.

Patea pairs feminine flow with strategic planning to give entrepreneurs immense

clarity and the exact steps to transformation from side hustler to

CEO. If she's not interviewing on her podcast,

unapologetically, abundant,

working out or reading,

you'll find her disconnecting from the world and connecting to herself

patio. Welcome to the gift biz on wrapped podcast.

So excited to be here as you.

Thank you so Much.

I'm really looking forward to the conversation.

But before we start,

I have a little bit of a tradition here,

and that is to have you describe yourself by way of

a motivational candle.

So if we got to see a little bit more about

you over and above your introduction,

that I just did,

what color and quote would be on your candle.

So my Color would be white and the quote on it

would be Hoboken,

Bringer. Oh,

I love that.

And that totally falls in line with everything that you're doing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's such a beautiful question.

And of course I never heard it before.

No, nobody has.

It's an original only here,

but you know,

I figure that everyone who's listening here with us right now

are creators.

So kind of just falls in line with things that we

like to know here and all of that.

I love that share with me a little bit Patea as

to how you narrowed in on the niche of people that

you like to work with and how everything evolved to where

you are today.

I love that question.

And if I would believe in accident,

I would say that I just fell into it.

And it was an accident where I am today about of

course always when we look back,

we can see how the dots are connecting.

Even if it doesn't make sense in a present moment when

we're going through something.

But I became transformational coach for a woman podcaster and international

retreat host because that's something that I truly needed in my

journey. I needed someone who would bring me hope and make

me feel safe and understood and seen and heard because I

didn't have that when I was growing up.

So I became what I needed on my own journey.

And then I got really clear and really unapologetic about who

I am,

what I stand for and what kind of people I want

to be supporting.

Did you take any training or find it out on your

own or how did you personally make that transition from questioning

things that you were going to do to becoming a strong,

powerful woman today?

So I was working in a corporate,

I moved from Spain,

I'm from Czech Republic,

but I lived in London,

Spain, and then I got an offer to go to school

in the United States.

That's how I got there.

So I never applied into being an entrepreneur or working for

myself. I was looking at the path of going to school.

So I got my college,

I got my bachelor's.

I got my MBA in business administration.

And then I was working in a corporate,

yeah, on a side.

I just felt like something is missing.

Like I'm really meant for more.

And I felt that there was such a toxic environment in

the work that I been,

that I started to numb myself in a sense of brainwashing

myself. I started to listen to motivational videos on YouTube,

motivational podcast,

positive podcasts.

And that's how I find my first life coach.

And that's how I got really on my path of discovering

who I really am and what I want.

So I feel that most of the things that I am

doing now with my clients,

I learned by myself and of course,

books, podcasts,

courses, all of these things I was learning,

but I never went to like school or certification of a

life coach or a business coach.

I allow myself to evolve throughout my journey because as we

are changing,

the things we are doing are changing too,

right after my corporate,

that was doing social media marketing business because my first life

coach wanted to help with his social media.

I'm like,

okay. And then also one of his client wanted to help.

So I started to help them.

And out of that,

I made side hustle.

And when I got out of the corporate,

I made it to my main business and then it transitioned

into a woman's coaching because even though it was great having

my own business,

it wasn't fulfilling.

It wasn't to me,

I feel like I was really missing that creative part,

that intuitive part,

that feminine part,

because I was always in my masculine and doing,

and doing and going,

and there was never time for fun creativity and flow.

And when I tap into that,

everything started to flourish.

So I truly love that your TRIBE,

our creatives,

because I feel that we really,

in our core are we are creatives and we are meant

for freedom.

So that's how I got where I am today.

Well, I love hearing about the journey that you had because

with our group and what I see over and over again

is I'm hearing from you,

the contradiction and the dissonance between doing which you're saying is

more masculine versus that creative more sensitive side,

which we'll just call feminine.

We know that they can traverse each other,

but let's just put it that way.

But for some reason,

and you've honed in on this,

which is a huge issue within my community gift biz listeners.

I know you agree with me is many times we do

play small and we don't even realize we're playing small,

but we just can't get out of that cycle.

And so when paperwork came through for you to be on

the show,

I was like,

yes, because this is something we need help with.

I mean,

the people who are listening have a product that they make,

maybe they're already monetizing it and still staying small,

or maybe their businesses could be so much bigger if they

wanted to,

but we always are holding ourselves back.

Why do we do that?

You know,

when you think about it too,

we're conditioned to,

you know,

when you're a little girl,

Lilla boy,

you're wild.

You're running around.

You love yourself.

You love the world.

You're curious,

you're creative.

You are doing things that are really aligned with who you

really are.

You're connected with your intuition.

You eat when you're hungry,

you go sleep when you are tired.

And then when you start to grow up,

you're being told,

no, don't do that.

Don't be too loud.

Don't be too much.

You cannot do this.

So we are raised in a world of filled with no,

instead of being really supported in our creative endeavors and being

free, it's so much easier to control people and have them

playing small and living in a fear versus having people living

in a freedom.

Because imagine the world,

if everybody is creative expressing themselves,

it's going to be a little bit harder to tell them

what to do.

Don't you think For sure.

And I think you're right.

We're so uninhibited when we're younger.

I'm curious as to your thought here,

and this is just a little bit of speculation here generations

ago. It's still here today,

but I think it was way more generations ago,

a generation or so ago.

Let's say that we did treat boys different than we treated

girls. Cause as you're talking,

I'm thinking,

well, why is this more of an issue for women than

it is with men?

And as you're talking,

you're being told,

no, maybe you're being taught your manners or what's appropriate or

cultural things that are significant.

And it feels like the guys were able to be more

bold and the women or the girls were more subdued.

Do you agree with that?

Absolutely. You know,

when I look at my grandma or my mom and even

me Sue,

you know,

like I am millennial,

but when I look the way I was raised,

I was a mental and physically abused by my stepfather.

I had a half brother who was younger than me and

who had so much more freedom and creative expression and be

who he really is versus me who had to be home

before sunrise.

And I couldn't express myself.

I couldn't say express my thoughts.

So I feel that yes,

it is changing and shifting now women are speaking their truth

more, but still like we look at our parents,

we look at our grandparents and that's who we learn from.

We really model what they're doing,

not what they say,

but what they're really doing.

So I'm still noticing the differences now.

And I saw it in my life.

Do you think it's getting better?

I hope so.

I think we acknowledge it more today.

Yes. And it'll take Several generations if it can possibly neutralize,

like it's not going to happen overnight.

You know,

I feel that the no changes like really happen overnight.

I think that we planted the seeds of women rising and

women speaking their truth.

I also am really seeing that the world it's more conscious.

Men are more conscious.

They are expressing their sensitive parts because women,

they were told to just shut it up and work and

do things and nurture others.

Right. But man,

the same way you have to be provider,

you have to be protector.

Don't complain.

Don't express your feelings,

boys don't cry.

But I see that the younger generation,

so many more men are coming forth and there are meeting

in the groups and there are expressing their feelings and there

are working on their communication and they are treating women as

the Queens that they are.

So yes,

I do feel the changes.

Even in my fiance.

He is younger than me.

And he is a coach for men and I see how

much beautiful work he is really doing and educating men on

how to be expressing their feelings,

how to be overcoming addictions,

how to be healing their past.

So I truly believe that the times are changing and they're

more expensive for all of us and especially men and women

coming together and seeing each other.

I don't want to call it equal,

but seeing the gifts and the strengths in each other and

supporting them instead of putting them down.

Yeah. We're putting each other in certain buckets of how you

need to be,

because there's still that human overlay.

I mean,

yes, we're made differently.

We have different hormone levels.

I mean,

that's just the way things are,

which might precipitate certain actions versus others,

strength, all those types of things.

Right. But we're still all human with emotions and feelings.

And so there's a lot of similarities.

In addition to the differences.

I don't know,

we're kind of getting off topic there,

but I don't want to gloss over the fact that you

mentioned that you been abused.

I'm sorry that that happened to you.

And I hold that in respect to that.

You even brought it up on the show.

So thank you for that,

that shares a little bit more of your experience in what

you know of what you speak.

If I can say it that way.

Thank you.

I didn't want to gloss over that by any means.

Let's talk about the people who are listening now.

So everyone of course has had different experiences.

You hear often the story about how there was one teacher

you had,

who said you weren't good at math,

let's say.

And so then you decide you're not good at math.

And that lays the groundwork for the rest of your life.

So that happens in all different spheres.

So some of it is someone that you look up to,

it makes a statement about who you are and you hold

that to be true.

Sometimes there is verbal or physical abuse.

So everyone comes from somewhere.

I think with some form of that experience to some intensity,

I guess I would say,

I don't know if all the professional words for this,

but we're all left in a position that we double think

ourself. And let me bring this back down a little bit

further, even.

So within our community,

I see a lot of women who make beautiful products and

they've been told they make beautiful products and they see other

people who make similar products,

starting a business and being successful.

But then when they turn the mirror on themselves,

they say,

but no,

I can't do that.

That's not something that I could do.

How do we work with that person to get over those

thoughts that she has?

Yeah, you're so right.

I can see it in many of my one-on-one coaching clients.

They are so eager to celebrate and see the gifts in

others. But then when they turn around the mirror,

they cannot see that in themselves.

Because like you said,

someone along the way,

or they were told that they're not good enough or so

something that they took it as the evidence.

But the foundational idea that you get to wrap yourself around

is that you're perfectly made for your purpose.

Each of us,

it's so unique in a such a different way.

Even if you have two artists doing exactly the same product,

they will have a different energy day will have a different

story. I will go to the store.

And even if the seller it's not there or the creator,

it's not there.

You can feel the energy from the product.

So when you embrace that,

that you're perfectly made for your purpose and that you're perfectly

made for your clients and that people will be attracted to

you and see your story.

You will start to see your value.

You will start to see your word.

It's really all about you seeing yourself as worthy and perfect

for what you came here to do.

And looking at others.

It's amazing when it inspires us and what's possible.

But when we look at others and compare ourselves and stop

our growth and expansion,

and he doesn't feel good,

then I wouldn't even go there.

If it doesn't feel good that you can't do it or

it doesn't feel good that you're worried about whether you can

do it.

Hm, No,

no, no,

no, no.

What I meant is when you look at others like how

they are doing their work,

how they are doing their own.

Well, the energy coming off of that doesn't feel good.

You mean exactly.

Got it.

Okay. So this is all easy to say,

but to actually in your mind change your thinking about all

of this is where it's harder because I think we can

agree if someone else started from nothing in their garage,

at their kitchen table.

And step-by-step,

you know,

when you hear the stories,

which is what we talk about on this show all the

time we bring up people and have them talk about how

they got from point a to point Z every single step

is so doable.

And it sounds like,

Oh, I can do that.

I can do that.

I can do that in those individual steps.

It just looks like a big leap going from a starting

point to where someone who's established already is.

But if one person can do it and give biz listeners,

thousands, millions of people have taken a handmade product and turned

it into a business of some sort.

But where's the mind set switch.

Patea that?

Is it thinking about abundance and is attracting abundance?

Are we going to get into some woo conversation here?

Oh, anytime I'm ready,

let's do it.

You know,

and I love that you are describing it as a step-by-step

process because when we look at our ultimate desire,

what do we really want in our life for ourselves?

Sometimes it can be daunting and overwhelming,

but when we can take it one step at a time,

that's when all these changes happen gradually.

That's what we get to remember the saying Rome wasn't built

in one day.

That's something that we can remember.

It can happen fast.

There's some changes and shifts that happened in my life fast,

but most of them were gradual.

And then when we look back,

we can see them.

But it's really about acknowledging where you are and asking yourself

what would be the best next step.

And it's not going to,

like you said,

change overnight,

but there are things and rituals and routines that you can

be doing daily that are going to make you feel better.

And when you're feeling better,

you're attracting better.

You're more confident.

You're more courageous.

People can notice your energy and changes.

You become magnetic for your clients and you will be taking

inspired action steps and inspired risks.

So you get to really look at where you are in

your life.

And I think it all starts with relationship with self.

How do you feel about yourself?

How do you treat yourself?

Because that is going to reflect in all of the relationships

around you,

whether it's with your clients,

family, with money,

it's all about the relationship.

So I would really start there,

take an inventory about your relationships and really look at your

core values.

And if those core values are aligning all those relationships,

that's something that really changed my life.

When I did an exercise about core values,

I realized what I stand for.

And I look at my life and I realized that nothing

really aligned,

not my relationship,

not my business,

not my clients.

And in that moment,

I'm like,

what the heck am I doing?

What am I doing with my life?

This doesn't feel good.

So I started to be aligning and letting go of things

that were not serving me.

And I created a space for things and people and opportunities

that come into my life.

And I started to create space,

even in my days,

like in the morning,

That's my sacred time that I pour into myself.

So I am feeling good.

And then I am inspired to do the work that I

was called to do.

And especially as creative,

you get to create a healthy boundaries and create a rituals

that are making you feel good and expensive.

And in the flow from that space,

you can really attract anything.

So This really starts with having the mindset that you're not

just on this road of life as a rider,

like just whatever comes to you is going to happen.

And you just move forward in life.

You get up every day,

this is really driving your life,

being the conductor of your life train,

if you will,

right. Being in control and thinking and having things happen because

you've decided that's the way you want your life to run.

Yes, I would just say that for me,

it was about realizing that I am the creator.

I used to struggle with eating disorder for 18 years too.

So I'm not looking for control.

I was in control almost the whole,

my life,

and it was restricting.

It wasn't expensive.

It wasn't fraying it.

Wasn't giving me the creative and inspired flow to be here

and to create,

but I change it to feel empowered.

I want to feel empowered and alive in my life versus

in control.

I gave up that control.

I leave it up to the universe and it's not as

me that I'm sitting here at home and doing nothing.

It means that I know that I am the creator and

that when I feel inspired and empowered my life and its

results are going to be aligned with who I really am

versus trying to control the life or feeling the pressure of

that or it's all up to me.

So I think that very important part,

it's also realizing that you're never alone and it doesn't matter

what you believe in.

If it's a source universe,

God, whatever you want to call it,

there was something bigger than ask.

And when you surrender to that,

then it liberates you at frees you,

and then you just tap into that trust that it's all

unfolding for you.

And then you create,

but intentional,

it's not just coming and going,

and life is happening to you.

You're creating it.

Yes. And it feels so good to hear you talk about

that. You're recognizing,

and you're looking inside of yourself about how the daily actions

that are happening or the relationships that you have make you

feel empowered and energized and excited and rewarded.

Exactly. So you're looking At that throughout.

Okay. I get it.

That is so interesting.

Can we dive in a little bit more when you say

kind of take an evaluation of yourself?

So look at your relationship with yourself and your relationship with

people around you and what are your core values?

Talk about this as a business.

Like where are you going?

What are you planning?

What are your core values for your business?

But we've never really done it on a personal end.

So that would be kind of fun to walk Through here.

Absolutely. I love that exercise.

And you know,

the thing is that it doesn't matter what kind of business

you have.

You are your business first because you are the one who

is going to create a product or be the leader in

a team in your business.

It all starts with you.

So this exercise is very easy and you can just pass

this recording or you can just do it afterwards,

but you can just take a piece of paper divided in

half, just take a pen divided and do like a line

in the middle.

And on one side on the left side,

you will write down the things you do not stand for.

I don't like saying the word hate,

but it will be like strong feeling against what are you

don't stand for?

And on the other side,

you will write down the things you do send for.

So you will just be going back and forth on each

side, you will write 20 tanks.

So for example,

I don't stand for hate.

I stand for laugh.

I don't stand for being cheap.

I send for generosity and you just go back and forth.

Once you have 20 written on each side,

you will take a highlighter or different colored pen and you

will circle three things on the right side.

Where are the things that you do stand for?

So when I did that years ago,

I realized that what I stand for it's growth in Segretti

and generosity.

And I looked at my life and I looked at my

business because back then I had social media marketing agency and

I look at it and I look at my values and

it didn't align.

So I let it go.

And then I built a business based on my core values.

And within nine months I built six figure online coaching business.

And before that I was working really hard.

I was hustling and it was never fulfilling.

I made the money and I let them go really quick

because I didn't feel worthy of having them because it wasn't

with my values.

So I think this exercise it's very easy.

Anyone can do that.

And then you will look at what is happening in your

life and in your business.

And if it aligns with who you really are.

So I'm doing this while we're talking Over achiever,

right. It's not really As hard for me because I asked

people to do core values for their business.

But it has to also be ingrained in you for exactly

the reason that you're saying,

because as an artist,

many people have their name as their business too.

So it does.

It's so totally aligned together.

Can you afford,

instead of just three?

Why three?

Yes. Just picking up three,

the magic of the three.

Right. But we can really easily focus our mind on the

three. If you pick five or one,

it's really challenging to live for one core value.

Right. But when you have three,

they usual encompass what you really stand for.

Whether it's on personal level,

business level,

you can really put more into it yourself.

Yeah. No,

my three-step my fourth.

I'm going to merge them into three at some point,

If you're unformed it's okay.

I did for two,

the first time when I was doing it,

it's completely fine.

But also once you finish this exercise,

it's not only about writing it on the paper and then

just, Oh,

okay, this is cool.

And like,

you're done.

You get to put it somewhere where you can see that.

So I put it in my wallet.

I put it in my mirror.

I put it in my office so I can see it.

And I can check in with myself because this is something

you very often,

we are overcoming the limiting beliefs.

And I have actually a couple of clients who are artists,

they're painters.

And I know there's so many limiting beliefs.

They get to be overcoming.

Whether they're on the show,

whether they have a meeting with a client,

when you have your core values backing you up in your

wallet, you're feeling stronger.

You're feeling more courageous.

You know who you are.

And when you know who you are,

that energy it's attracting people who are matching that energy.

So it gives you the confidence to present yourself and your

business in a way that helps you to attract the people

that want to pay you abundantly to be you and doing

your work because As you're in alignment with each other.

So if you want to go the manifestation route here,

then you are emitting out into the environment,

your values,

right? Which means that you'll attract other people who have similar

values as you do Exactly.

It's like you become the magnet for people and things that

align with you.

But very often we are brought up in a different way

and people pleasing and the need or desire to belong and

to be part of something.

And then we easily lose ourselves.

Sometimes as wives,

sometime as mothers,

sometimes as a business owner,

we are wearing so many masks that we forget what is

really underneath it all and why we're doing things that we're

doing. And that's why it's sometimes confusing.

Like, Oh,

I have a great month.

And next month socks.

And the next month is good.

And we are wondering what's happening with the consistency.

Right? So I think it's really important to know who you

truly are.

So you can be attracting people and opportunities that are alike.

I love this.

Okay. So when you have your three words and then you

post them different places,

give biz listeners.

If you have my planner,

the inspired daily planner,

there's a place there for you to write your core values.

You can put it right in there.

It's in one of the first pages or print it out,

put it as one of your wallpapers on your phone even.

Right. Yup.

But then make sure that what you're doing,

this is what you're saying.

Patea is make sure that what you're doing throughout the day

and throughout your weeks is in alignment with those values that

you've stated after.

Self-reflection that really,

are you the internal you,

what you stand for?

Absolutely. Because when you think about it,

then that was my experience in my life.

The universal way says,

yes, if you say I'm not good,

enough universe will say yes.

If you say these are the values that I aligned with

universities. Yes.

And it always brings you the evidence,

whether you like it or not.

It's a reflection of your inner feeling and inner thinking.

Yeah. So I'm trying to decide whether I should tell you

a story about what happened to me this year,

that falls right into this.

Do you think I should?

Absolutely. Okay.

If you got the inspired idea,

somebody needs to hear it.

So one of my keywords is integrity just like you.

And what integrity means to me is integrity to myself and

integrity to other people.

And one way that is,

is if I say,

I'm going to do something like Sue,

you are going to work out at four o'clock in the

afternoon. You're going to get on that Peloton bike.

And you're going to work out for an hour.

Like whatever my plan is.

Right. So I could so easily rethink it,

but no I've said,

that's my plan.

So that's how I'm in integrity to myself.

Same thing with other people.

Like I'm pretty reliable.

If I say I'm going to do something,

I get it done on time,

if not early.

So that's another way that I am in alignment with that

in my relationships with others.

And I don't know why I brought that up because the

real one,

and this is where the word comes in.

And this leads to my story is I'm not sure what

my word is,

whether it's kind or accepting of differences or what that second

word is.

just putting a frame in time for whenever listeners are listening

to this exact episode was challenging on many fronts.

None of us can debate that worldwide challenging.

And there were a couple of relationships in my life that

didn't align with my values,

but I always made justifications for it.

Oh, that's okay.

Because when we get together,

we always have such a good time.

Or like there were different things.

And this year I decided,

I mean,

there was no blow ups or anything like that.

I decided that those relationships weren't healthy for me in my

life now,

are we enemies?

No, but we're more distant friends now.

And my life feels lighter and better for it.

Thank you for sharing that.

I love that because sometimes we outgrow people and I feel

that many people are afraid to let go let go of

with walls.

And I think that it's beautiful because if it's making you

feel better to be without those people,

like having them close,

I think it's time to let them go and create the

space for something even better.

It's beautiful that you are truly the embodiment of your core

values because someone is listening right now and maybe they're feeling

bad that they don't have anything in common or talk to

any more with people.

And they're afraid to let them go.

So hearing your story might really inspire them to give themselves

the grace and the space.

Yeah. And when it becomes toxic or you're anxious about getting

together, because something that's going to go on,

doesn't align with the way you treat people or talk about

people or whatever the issues are.

I mean,

they're not bad people,

in my opinion,

they're just different than me.

And they're still my friends.

If ever there was an emergency and they called up and

they really needed me.

I would be there.

It's just,

it's in a different level of friendship now.

And I think more than anything,

what it does is it's,

I'm being true to myself where before I wasn't quite as

true to myself,

it feels sad a little bit,

but it feels right because I want to align myself with

people to your point,

who energize me,

who believe in the values that I believe in and live

the values that I believe in.

Yeah. It's part of the evolution.

I believe for Ailey,

surround ourselves with people that really light us up and make

us feel alive.

Those should be the closest people to us.

Yeah. Okay.

So not to make this as SU counseling session or anything

like that,

do your values change over time.

Should you go back?

And re-look at them from time to time?

Oh gosh,

I got really personal here for a minute,

but I decided to leave it in because I'm hoping that

in some way it will help someone who's out there listening.

Maybe even you,

we will continue this conversation right after a very short break.

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Yes, you can Absolutely look at it,

but I feel it's because these are core values.

I look back and my core values are the same for

over three years.

Now, those things are still to priority for me.

I have other values.

For example,

like family always comes first to me,

always, always,

always, but I don't have it in my core values because

the growth,

integrity and generosity,

they go hand in hand and they are reflecting everything.

So you look at your values less than maybe a couple

will shift,

but most likely,

if you're really honest with yourself,

the core ones are not going to change that much because

I am not available for people who don't live in integrity.

I am a not open for people who are not believing

in generosity or are generous.

It just doesn't feel good to me.

So I'm not going to change those.

Okay. So first gift is listeners.

I want you guys,

we've never talked about it this way in relation just to

yourself before.

So what a perfect and very easy thing.

It might take some reflection foil,

but it's an easy exercise.

It requires some thought,

maybe you go to a quiet place or you go out

for a walk or you spin on your Peloton bike and

you give this some thought,

but I'm thinking it should come up pretty easily because you

know, what's important to you in your heart,

Right? But many people don't allow themselves to think about themselves,

their visit with family,

visit with word,

visit, with creating,

and they don't really pass to ask themselves what is really

important to me.

Like how often do you ask yourselves you and have you

always asked yourself,

like for me took decades to start taking care of me.

Not only like,

Hey, let's get manicure,

pedicure, right?

But really the internal me,

how am I really feeling?

How am I really doing what is really important to me

that took me decades because we get so busy that we

forget to live and really check in and years passed by

exactly. It's really important to create,

like you said,

the space,

whether you do it on Peloton or you go for a

walk, I love doing a journaling or being in nature that

just feels fulfilling to me and expansive.

So in a nature,

I feel home.

That's where I do that.

And I think it's really important for us to the space,

because if you are really not aligned with who you really

are, nothing else will work.

You cannot build strong foundation on something that it's shaky on

a shaky ground that it's unsecure.

Well, And I also feel like when you're more clear on

who you really are,

you present yourself stronger because you have the confidence that those

values give you.

Absolutely. And the confidence that you're feeling about yourselves gives you

the courage to take steps,

to start the online shop or to offer your product or

to offer your services.

It will give you the courage to go and take the

steps. Yes.

I can see it.

I see the path.

All right.

So we've got our three core values.

Now what about our business core values?

How are those different and how do we determine what those

should be?

You know,

for me too,

they're the same?

Think about a generosity,

integrity, growth.

Those are my core values that I personally believe.

And that do reflect in my business,

the clients that I'm attracting,

the team that I have,

they all reflect my core values.

I don't have different core values for my business and for

my personal life.

These are the things that I spent four.

And you can see that in my team and the kind

of clients that I am attracting or the partnerships they get

to align with my core values,

or we won't be working together.

Okay. The only other topic that I think we should address

here a little bit more is for someone who's listening and

is like,

okay, this all sounds good.

It's feeling a little light because I don't have any concrete

actions, like how I'm still anxious.

I've got my core values,

but I still have doubts about whether I can start this

business. And I'm afraid to start because I don't know tech,

I don't have an MBA,

like all the I don't right.

What can we do to help that person reframe their thinking

to get started?

There are a few things that came to my mind.

The first thing would be an exercise that I love,

love, love doing in the past when it was deciding or

something, or I was feeling doubtful and secure.

I really wrote down the best gate,

the realistic and the worst case scenario.

What are those scenarios?

If I go and start selling my product,

if I go and start a website,

even if I don't have everything to gather,

what is the best case,

realistic and worst case scenario.

So I write it down.

I look at them and I ask myself,

am I okay with the worst case scenario?

Because if I am okay with that,

it's a green light.

And I just go for it because my belief is that

I would read a live in a world,

filled with,

oops, this didn't work out.

How can we improve rather than what AF I just can't

live with that.

What if it would work?

What if this is the thing?

What if there are people waiting there for me to buy

my products?

So these three scenarios writing them down,

it really helped me to get more clarity about what is

my next step.

And then another one is,

I'm sure you heard of the book,

the big magic.

I think it's absolutely brilliant book that basically describes you,

that you have your desires because you're meant to birth them.

The ideas,

the desires,

you don't get like crazy ideas of doing a business or

doing a product or being talented in something to be tortured

by them.

It's because you are meant to bring them here and you

get to remember,

no one can do it like you.

No one,

no one will put inside the touch that you can.

The stories that you can,

it's only on you.

So when you are not doing the things that you want

to be doing like products and being creative,

you are really hurting other people because there are people who

need your products and you are just sitting on it.

There are people who are waiting just for you.

So I feel like it's a little bit selfish because you're

sitting in your fear and doubt.

And I know that many of my clients,

when they're afraid to do something,

when they take a deep breath and just go and do

it, they're like,

Oh wow,

it wasn't dead bat.

So it's really putting in the courage and goal and really

asking yourself,

what are the things that come to me really easily?

What can I do?

Where can I ask for help?

Where can I delegate?

Who do I know who is already doing the things that

I want to be doing?

Can I learn from them?

Can I model them again?

You are not alone here.

You don't have to be figuring it all out.

Look just at the next step to get clear,

to get confident and then put all the courage to gather,

to go and take the first step.

And then it will really create a momentum of meeting a

person who can help you another person,

another opportunity.

But if you will stay stuck,

there is no way that people can come to you and

help you.

You get to start moving first one step at a time.

And it's so true that things start happening when you take

action. It is crazy.

I have manifestation stories all over the place.

It just,

it always happens that way.

When you start walking in a certain direction with a certain

intent, like you said,

you meet people,

things open up.

My husband and I were walking downtown.

I'm in a small little suburb of Chicago.

And I had a production studio like in a commercial area.

And my husband and I were just out walking.

And I said,

you know what?

I would love someday to have a shop,

right? Downtown,

like around where everything's going.

It's a small,

like, it's a more like a historic downtown.

And I'd love to be able,

like in the afternoon to just walk down the stairs and

be able to go to lunch outside on the sidewalk or

things like that.

Wouldn't, you know,

three months later the space right next to the chamber of

commerce opened up.

It was right downtown Highland park.

And guess where I'm standing right this minute.

Wow. I envisioned it.

And it just automatically appeared to me.

And that's happened to me,

things like that.

So many times so many,

but then you also have to have the courage to do

it, to act on it too.

Exactly. It's really this.

And again,

it will go back into the masculine and feminine flow,

right? We all have in men and women and the feminine

flow is having these intuitive and inspired ideas like real receiving

these ideas or impulses.

And then the masculine really steps in and say,

Hey, let's do it.

Let's take the step.

Let's do the action.

Let's pick up the phone and call and or let's check

out the website.

Like it's about this beautiful dance between the inspired ideas and

acting on them.

Because even if some of them doesn't work,

the inspired ideas,

I can promise you that will always take you to the

next step,

to the next person you get to meet to the next

article. You have to read it to the next podcast.

You need to hear always,

always, always you get to trust.

You're always provided protected and just keep taking the steps because

everything it's truly happening For you.

I love what you say here is when you're faced with

that step,

then you determine best,

worst, realistic,

go for it.

And if the worst is,

it just didn't happen.

Then maybe it opened up your eyes or got you into

another opportunity.

That is your next step.

That is the magic step.

Yeah. I love this process.

This is a way to get off the starting line.

Don't let the gun go off and you stand still,

the gun goes off.

Then you start to run the race.

Right? Exactly.

And I also,

I really,

I just want to reinforce the point that you made that

lots of times we get ideas that we think have come

from ourselves.

Oh, maybe I want to start a candle business.

And is it just possible that that idea comes from somewhere

other than just you,

this was something you were meant to be doing,

and that's why you're thinking about it.

And that's why you were given the talents that you have.

And that it's more than just you.

Exactly. Yeah.

I mean,

it's a totally different way of thinking.

And also I'm underscoring all the points you said,

but the other thing,

and we have talked about this a bit before you talk

about, well,

why do people need my product?

And like,

band-aids we know why people need band-aids or food.

We know why people need food,

or you could even go as far as to say cupcakes

or nuts or any of the things that my bakers or

snack makers make because you have to eat.

Right. But all the products that we make think of it,

candles, jewelry,

they light up our life.

They make us feel happy or pretty,

or energize us,

or give us confidence as we're going out on our first

dates or whatever it is.

So all of these things value To lives.

It's not like,

Oh, well,

people don't need what I have.

They may not need it.

But it's an important part of what their life's about when

they have something that you make and they're using it in

their life.

So this is a different mind switch than,

Oh, nobody needs another candle,

which isn't true because I need every candle.

I do see my house,

My house it's like filled with Kenville sits like temple.

I used to say my house,

it's like a cemetery.

And people look at me where,

so I started to say,

it's like a temple because I have so many candles and

people really get to realize that their gifts are needed.

Their products are needed.

Like I need my candles.

I need my art.

It does enhances our quality of life and a liveliness inside

of us.

It's the creative expression for me.

It's exciting when I can support artists or creatives,

because I'm so happy they're living their purpose.

They're following it.

That I want to support them.

Hundred percent agree with you.

And I'm a big candle,

crazy person too.

So this is another way that we're aligned together.

We were talking about the similarities between the two of us

in terms of our interests before the show.

That's what I was just mentioning with potato.

So potato,

where could people learn more about you and see everything that

you're up to,

where would be a good place to send them?

I feel that my favorite place,

it's really Instagram.

I'm there every single day.

And it's just my name particular or my website.

They're my,

everything, my podcast,

my freebie.

And that's also dot com.

Perfect. What's your freebie?

My freebie it's about money and how to be manifesting money

effortlessly, or also helping people to shift into their abundance mindset

with making them realize why money really matters.

Wonderful. Those sound very,

very interesting.

So if that's interesting to you remember,

there's always a show notes page attached to this podcast.

So you can go back and grab the links there in

case you're out in your aren't able to jot something down

and you're interested in seeing more.

So Patea thank you so much.

This has been such an inspiring kind of soul searching episode

here, which has been really,

really interesting.

Thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you so much.

I love your work and it keeps supporting those creatives that

are really needed.

I don't know about you,

but I found this episode.

So empowering,

Patea says we're perfectly made for our purpose.

We've been given creative talents,

the desire to make,

and the idea of starting a business from somewhere sounds like

a strong combination to me,

but now it's up to each and every one of us

to use it.

We're continuing down the creative path.

Next week,

when we talk with a woman who has brought an artistic

technique from India over to us here in the us,

she's made some unbelievable progress with her business this past year,

and continues to grow and build on her ideas.

I would say she's connected with her universal power and I

can't wait for you to hear her story.

That's all coming up next Monday.

Thanks so much for spending time with me today.

If you'd like to show support for the podcast,

would you give me the gift of leaving a rating and

review? That would mean so much and helps the show gets

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So it's a great way to pay it forward.

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and I'll see you again next week on the gift biz

unwrapped. Yes.

I want to make sure you're familiar with my free Facebook

group called gift is breeze.

It's a place where we all gather and our community to

support each other.

Got a really fun post in there.

That's my favorite of the week.

I have to say where I invite all of you to

share what you're doing to show pictures of your product,

to show what you're working on for the week to get

reaction from other people and just for fun,

because we all get to see the wonderful products that everybody

in the community is making my favorite posts every single week,

without doubt.

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